I managed to unpack all of my recording equipment today and write a song. I feel that with this song I had a lot of disjointed ideas that each should have been made into their own songs. I'm not very happy with it.

Lyrics:
Do I have to believe, everything I see?
In the beauty of the sun, that shines in everyone

That's not the way it is. I can't swallow this
I won't accept the fact. No, I can't purchase that
I can't purchase that

Maybe I'm alone or I can't recognize my own
But I find that kind of weird. It fills me with such fear

Zombies, everyone and they're having too much fun
Eating other's brains. It's clinically insane
It's clinically insane


Something's amiss in the smell of this
Something rotten is going down somewhere underground
Something's not right; the subtle stench of fright
Something big is going down somewhere underground

You may say I'm crazy but I tell you I'm not
I'll overturn your every secret that you think you've got

Its not all in my head -- the creatures beneath my bed
And everyone I know is betting on the show

Don't you lie to me with your cameras and TVs
You're messing with my brain
You're messing with my brain
It's clinically insane
It's clinically insane

I dont like that smacking at the beginning.
The track could have a count in or sth like that, then it'd make sense

The vox lower in in the scale sounded pretty good, not heard you sing that the low before.

Why are you not happy with it??

Just slightly messy sounding - as if it's been rushed in recording.  Some mixing issues too... the drum track is excellent, but it's lost somehow.  Guitar and vocals all a bit too loud.
BUT...
Song construction, playing, singing, lyrics ALL GOOD.
This could sound excellent with a bit of tidying up.
I like the song - it just needs a little work to get it to sound right.
Jim A