#1October 18th, 2009 · 06:59 PM
58 threads / 44 songs
149 posts
United States of America
Let me
*

This song is not in a battle


I named this song because of the female vocals i put in the refrain.  I know it don't really fit but that's why I like it.  I hope you all enjoy lestioning to it all most as mich as I enjoyed making it.  please comment.

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#2October 19th, 2009 · 03:05 PM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,384 posts
United Kingdom
Intro too long
The female vox are nice, but too low in the mix,
The drums go on too long after the inital vox. try 2 bars

It 's got potential, I would definately remix, add some synth to break it up

Keep working on it
#3October 19th, 2009 · 03:56 PM
102 threads / 59 songs
204 posts
Canada
The intro is way too long, I'd cut it at least in half. The vocals are pretty good but they're a bit flat and I agree with Denis, the definitely need to be louder, or at least the piano needs to be quieter. I think you've got a good work in progress but right now it doesn't really feel like a whole song but rather one song (your refrain) repeating between segments of white noise. In terms of improvement, I consider reworking this either into a song with two parts or something more electronic with the refrain being sampled. I'd also consider cutting down the lyric for your refrain, it sounds like a mouthful and I think it would be more effective (and easier to sing) with less words.
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