I took your suggestions to heart and cut out a bunch of stuff. I couldn't figure out what I wanted, so I started by eliminating everything except guitar and vocals. I then added back in the bass guitar and piano and some of the electric guitar. Does this version sound better. I still need to add in another or some more instruments I think (or maybe not?). I just don't know what the instruments are. Any suggestions?

Tha Bass and Acoustic Guitar are brillient, the tone, your playing and production pro standard..
The piano is a nice touch, just need rasing in the mix, Hmm, the electric sounds as though it has too much reverb, but perhaps that is the effect you wanted to create??

I like the tone of your vox, but you're singing out of tune in many places.  I'm no vocal coach, but I'm sure you could work on it, do that and you have trully created a superb composition.

WELL DONE!!

Could you Denis or someone please tell me the places I'm singing out of tune. I don't know what it is, but when I listen to it, I don't hear that. Maybe it's hard for me to hear it because I'm listening to my own voice. I can hear when others sing out of tune, but not myself. Is it a few words here and there or are you speaking of full lines and verses (I hope not... lol). Examples would be nice.

I'm really surprised I got this good of a review, considering the responses I got on the first version, so I'm really excited and want to finish this as much as possible. I'm still mixing through my 5" speakers on my 20 year old boom box, so levels and such are hard to decipher how good they are.

Listen to the vox on their own, I'm sure you'll here the notes that are out of tune.

Ok. I did that. I heard maybe 6 or 7 parts (like a word or part of a word here and there). Is that what you're talking about?

HEY 'witchwyzwurd' needs some more opinions, so please help him out!
~ Peace ~

Yes they are only a word and parts of words here and there.

I think you have a very strong voice but you need to practice singing as you would your guitar or any instrument.
Your 'singing' and holding of notes is 'shaky' because you change tones within words in some kind of medieval way and you don't practice strengthening your voice so it comes out sounding 'broken' and off key sometimes.

There are a few very simple exercises you can do, one is to hold vowel tones for as long as you can without breaking, weakening and without going into vibrato.... do it in the shower, the steam helps you breath.
Another one for you could be keeping your own vocal levels as close to your spoken voice as possible, so you could start off talking a sentence and slowly turn your talking into singing the sentence, so you can hear where you are meant to be.
I think you start this with a low tone and have to change quickly to correct it to your own natural voice. 
ooo! 1:19 
In general I think your a singing this on a higher level than your natural vocal range.

But I really love the tune just the same, as Denis said very pro recording of the guitar. sad song though!  

I actually do practice strengthening my voice. I sing everyday to and from work and whenever I'm in my car. I can sing basically fine to other songs, but it's when I'm recording my own stuff. I can even hit pitches just fine when I'm singing acapello (or howevers that's spelled). I can actually hear when I'm going off key when I sing without instruments. But when I try to sing to an instrument, I get lost in what I'm doing.

I do sing in the shower.

I do hold notes for long (like 30 seconds or more)

The talking to singing thing has been thought of on my side. Thanks.

Yah. My natural tone is pretty low, but everytime I record a song that way, I listen to it and it sounds dull. I used it in the first sentence of the song and like the fourth, and mid-chorus though.

Thanks for all of these suggestions and such. It is a sad song... sad topic. Meant to incite action though. Thanks for liking the tune. I'm embellishing it a little to add a bit more texture.

WHAT A GREAT SOUND....................

The vocs fall out of tune a bit ........... but so what!!!!

I Like this

Nice thoughtful construction ...........

maybe read the guide to rating songs...............

I Havent given a star rating for ages

so this onr 4*+

the remembering how to vote............... fish

HOW COOL IS BANDAMP????