#1March 18th, 2009 · 03:32 AM
14 threads / 13 songs
60 posts
United States of America
Close your eyes (with me)
*
Please vote for this song !
Current votes: 7 (needs min. 15)
It’s in the battle 2009-04


Hey please tell me what you think of this song. What do you think of the mix and the pan. Any idea's on the EQ? I know the drum track sort of sucks... I'm not a very good at drums. I think I might have my friend redo those. So don't really worry about commenting on them.

Any suggestions for the name would be appreciated too. So far I'm between With Me, Close Your Eyes, Don't Be Afraid and Victorian. Other suggestions would be good too.

Thanks a lot for all your help both now and in the past.

Isaac Sloan

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#2March 18th, 2009 · 10:21 AM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,930 posts
Canada
WOW!!! Thats what I said when I first heard this. I wasnt expecting ANYTHING in this magnitude of amazingness. Is that you singing? Your really good!
Everything about this song is very proffessional and all around really great!
Song name should be Close Your Eyes (With Me)

Excellent job. Bravo!
#3March 18th, 2009 · 02:27 PM
77 threads / 45 songs
2,296 posts
United States of America
With me.
Ike, I think that you have a hit song here..this is really a nice song...at 1:44 is a darn good kick in with the Guitar...the Piano playing is nice..Your vocals are really good...I dont know what else to say...this is one of the best songs on here I think...one for my playlist and a download..

Could you post the lyrics please ?..

Flyer

Nice rating

Good to see you back around also
#4March 18th, 2009 · 02:44 PM
157 threads / 30 songs
1,953 posts
United States of America
wow I really like this song. the singing is very unique , kinda cutesy popish for me but still good.

things i would change,, I like everything up till the guitar kicks in..

1) I don't like the 1/8 note chunk build up to the solid chords... to me you should let it turn around one more time and then just hit the solid chords.. leave the chunk build out of it.
2) get a less of a  midranged toned ,distorted sound on the guitar , look for more of a open strat or tele sound that is a little cleaner and brighter.. imho it would fit the aspect of the song more so that what you have.

The song reminds me of some of Bryan Adams material  very will written and played..

I give it high marks for the writing , and playing .. just minor fixes imho .  .

oh yeah ........Welcome to the amp.
#5March 18th, 2009 · 04:40 PM
14 threads / 13 songs
60 posts
United States of America
Close Your Eyes (With Me) - Lyrics
She said everything I hold onto,
Everything i know
It seems that everything changes
and left me here long ago
baby dry your tears
the clouds will go away
don't be afraid of your fears
you can make life go your way

[chorus]
So stay with me for a while... its ok
I'd like to see you smile... today yeah...
Hold me close for a while... when you cry
Cause my dreams you smile... close your eyes yeah.. close your eyes.

She said it feels like i'm wasted
how i feel i can't define
I know that I could be someone
but i keep myself confined
baby dry your tears
the clouds will go away
don't be afraid of your fears
you can make life go your way

chorus
guitar solo
chorus


Oh also you answer the first question. Yes I am singing both parts and playing all the instruments but the guitar solo. My friend Edgar played that.
#6March 18th, 2009 · 06:52 PM
159 threads / 14 songs
2,309 posts
United Kingdom
re: With me.
WOW !!!! FANTASTIC!!!

Great song ( composition).............well performed!!! and recorded...........

on the production side there is room for improvement .............

its all a bit flat ...........

First thing that springs to mind is that the guy on the AMP to help you out here is MARINO
for some tips
listen to a few of his tracks ........ see how he treats guitar......

love this

Well  Done
#7March 19th, 2009 · 12:36 AM
127 threads / 43 songs
2,808 posts
Puerto Rico
Is Swordy getting me in trouble again..Lol
Ike you have an amazing voice and great composition skills...The best way to work a mix is to find tracks that you like and compare your sound and mix to the ones you one to achieve...
I personally would start with the two strongest elements the piano and voice..I would bring the piano all the way to the front of the mix phase with a just a tad stereo split of maybe 20 to 30 % and then center the vox  with the baking at a 10% pan..I would lessen what sounds like limiter/compressor on your voice so its a bit more natural...The voice and piano up front with a slide pan on the backing vox (with a slight eq change to give it some clarity,tweak till its audible mainly on the mid hi)The strings can be warmed up with a slight verb and some lower mids to bring some color..The drums yeah they need to go...Do you have a midi file of those drums?If you do let me now I might be able to help you get a better sound on them..Is there a bass there too..?Is not very defined...If there is I would roll of a bit of the bottom end and slightly increase the mid..Keep the bass in the middle...The guitar needs work. Open chords as suggested by goat are a great idea but if you want to retain the initial arrangement I would redo with less distortion and maybe a slight pan to the opposite side of the backing vocals..The solo needs to come up and same less distortion and with the neck pick up on for more body. Twang is the sound you want in here but with out harshness..See if that gets you going..Remember this is just what I would try each one has there own ways of working the tracks according to there style..Some suggestions I have for you would be to check Educated Guess and JBP they are great songwriters too and seem to fit your sound very well...Let me know if you need more help...
#8March 19th, 2009 · 03:55 PM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,372 posts
United Kingdom
Your vox tone goes nice with the piano.

I'm not so sure if this needs electric guitar, even if you play with the tone, it has a classical feel to it IMO In fact you could just keep it very simple, Piano and Vox thats it, cause they shine like the sun on a glorious day.

I suppose you could put an acoustic guitar, but no too much. oh and some Strings, keeping it Classical.

Anyway Really love the song, you have great song writing ability.

Keep 'em comin'

Denis
#9March 20th, 2009 · 02:56 AM
117 threads / 54 songs
3,066 posts
Netherlands
Yeah this is definately a really good track, wow great vocal performance!

Peeps have already commented on possible improvements to arrangement and production, so I won't I just listen to this as a demo of what you're capable of. The most apparent thing is the drums, they're really flat, but you already know that.

Yep definately a good track in the works! Keep at it!
#10March 22nd, 2009 · 05:21 PM
1 threads / 1 songs
3 posts
United States of America
I love the vocal harmony! definitely one of my favorite songs on this site. 
#11March 23rd, 2009 · 01:07 PM
187 threads / 27 songs
2,802 posts
Germany
what a gorgeous track.
needs a little work with the mix esp. the guitar imo too loud
worth it to download definitely
#12March 23rd, 2009 · 05:52 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,930 posts
Canada
Okay the only thing you need to fix on this (I listend again) is that you have a poor choice of distortion on the guitar.
Use a strat or something with decent sounding single coil pickups and just have a little gain shining through giving you a crunchy gainy clean distortion.

The solo guitar can be boosted with a little more distortion than the "rythm" distorted guitar.

rock on
#13March 28th, 2009 · 08:44 PM
30 threads / 25 songs
219 posts
United States of America
I am extremely pleasantly impressed..... **Excellent  vocals, lyrics as well as the whole composition!
Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us!
~ Peace to a fellow musician/composer ~
#14April 11th, 2009 · 05:10 PM
3 threads / 2 songs
12 posts
United Kingdom
lyrically on point, vocals is smooth and right on the money. Like Denis said, the electric guitar didnt sit well with the track. Good job..
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