#1December 2nd, 2008 · 10:02 PM
151 threads / 150 songs
265 posts
United States of America
Everybody is a Victim
*

This song is not in a battle


Guitar works again.

Everybody is a victim
Everybody can complain
Everybody has welfare checks
Made out in their names
Everybody is a victim
Everbody can complain
Everybody's trying to find someone
On which to lay the blame

You're a victim of fashion.
You're a victim of gravity
You're a victim of passion
You're a victim of society
Everybody's trying to get you
Everybody's trying to find you
Everybody's got a hitlist
Made out in your name

You're a victim of the government
You're a victim of the mob
You're a victim of your family
You're a victim of your job
Everybody's trying to steal you
Everybody's trying to kill you
Everybody's got a hit list
Made out in your name

You're a victim of science
You're a victim of the FDA
You're a victim of wal-mart
You're a victim of every day
So call all your lawyers
Get your check books out
Its going to be a battle
That's what it's about

Call up the senate
Call up the House
Call up superheroes
To figure it out
They'll hand you some dollars
But never some sense
Everybody's got a pocket book
Written out in your name

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#2December 3rd, 2008 · 02:08 AM
117 threads / 54 songs
3,066 posts
Netherlands
Hey, nice tune

I can actually picture this becoming a popular song showing up on the MTV - ofcourse it's current production isn't perfect.. but its pretty cool. Could've put a bit more passion in it maybe - it sounds a little temperate on the production side (and vox!) But it's entertaining all in all, and the lyrics are original and well written.

Nice!
#3December 3rd, 2008 · 12:42 PM
91 threads / 11 songs
881 posts
United States of America
Great lyric content, great instrumentation as far as I'm concerned. I like your vocal delivery throughout most of the song, but I feel the song would even have more dynamics if you shouted some of the lyrics...or even an entire verse or chorus (after all, there is passion and anger in the lyrics....) I will say it again...I LOVE the message in the lyrics!
#4December 3rd, 2008 · 12:47 PM
187 threads / 27 songs
2,802 posts
Germany
nice song
but without drive
your vocal range is quite boring. There isnt any big action in this song
And one can hear the compression. Normally using compressors and limiters sound like you dont have any.
Yes the lyrics are good
#5December 3rd, 2008 · 03:41 PM
151 threads / 150 songs
265 posts
United States of America
TritonKeyboarder wrote…
nice song
but without drive
your vocal range is quite boring. There isnt any big action in this song
And one can hear the compression. Normally using compressors and limiters sound like you dont have any.
Yes the lyrics are good

Very true, there are only four notes in this song that I sing. I really should have worked on this more, and come up with a more dynamic melody,  but it was more of a quick little thrasher that I didn't take too seriously.
#6December 5th, 2008 · 03:25 PM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,377 posts
United Kingdom
I think Puppet X comment are true, just work on the production, there are many many many songs with few notes, in fact there are a few where only one note is sung, which are classics that will be with us for ever.

I think it is a simple thing to get more dynamics, check your recording levels, if you are recording initally with a low recording level it will effect the overall dynamics, even if you boost it afterwards.

Great story

Denis
#7December 5th, 2008 · 05:38 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
Good song, let down by the vocal delivery.  Agree with Battlecat about shouting (or perhaps singing an octave higher) with some of the vocals. 
I really like this song, and think it could become something really dynamic and interesting.

Great lyrics too!
#8December 6th, 2008 · 10:01 AM
90 threads / 73 songs
263 posts
United Kingdom
Really like this.

Right kind of range for your vocals. I don't think your vocals are 100% on this track - they've got the right kind of feel, they just need a bit more attitude, a bit more punch.. You know what I mean? I was waiting for the moment for the vocals to come in with that kind of shouty kind of voice but they just kept the same the whole way through. Maybe try getting really pissed off about something and then try shouting the vocals into the microphone. Maybe then you'll have a bit more attitude and punch. Then you just need to control that and you're onto a winner .
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