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I was initaly working with a lyricist with this song, the lyricist thinks it's too long and too slow to be marketed.
This is how I think the arrangement should go:
0.00 - 0.55 - Instrumental
0.55 - 1.44 - 1st verse
1.44 - 2.08 - Solo1 or instrumental
2.08 - 2.42 - Chorus
2.42 - 3.33 - Instrumental
3.33 - 3.57 - verse 2
3.57 - 4.59 - Chorus
4.59 - 5.19 - Inst [could end it hear?]
5.19 - end - solo/other
If anybody is up for collaborating PM me.
Cheers
Denis
This is how I think the arrangement should go:
0.00 - 0.55 - Instrumental
0.55 - 1.44 - 1st verse
1.44 - 2.08 - Solo1 or instrumental
2.08 - 2.42 - Chorus
2.42 - 3.33 - Instrumental
3.33 - 3.57 - verse 2
3.57 - 4.59 - Chorus
4.59 - 5.19 - Inst [could end it hear?]
5.19 - end - solo/other
If anybody is up for collaborating PM me.
Cheers
Denis
beginning reminds me of Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi lol.
Sounds pretty good to me!
This song isnt too long
reminds me of pink floyd now. man.
see pink floyd had long songs liek this with synthesiser and bass all drawn out.
this is awesome.
this is the perfect length and dont let anyone tell you differently
This could be monumental
Sounds pretty good to me!
This song isnt too long
reminds me of pink floyd now. man.
see pink floyd had long songs liek this with synthesiser and bass all drawn out.
this is awesome.
this is the perfect length and dont let anyone tell you differently
This could be monumental
Jiminuk wrote…
Great stuff... very atmospheric
Also hear the floyd sound... and a flute in the instrumental.
And some strings.
Oh, this is nice
:)
Ahhh Jim, we're on similar lines, I thought flute for the intro, and other places where the acoustic is playing on it's own with the basss, then in the last bridge go mental with Sax and electric guitar, 8 bars each.
Where was you thinking of puting strings, I think it may crowd it unless you mean intro part?
Cheers
Very good job Denis..No i don't think is long...Honestly I think your lyricist should give it a shot..The day or short songs is gone..Many satellite and internet radio stations are playing the music with total disregard to the typical marketing strategies...People also download music just about the same as buying a Cd so I think maybe he needs to be aware of this if his not..In any case this is an awesome track...Total potential..I do hope he does something to it...Man play your sax at th 5 30 mark that would be awesome!!!!
Superb show!!!
Superb show!!!
Marino wrote…
Very good job Denis..No i don't think is long...Honestly I think your lyricist should give it a shot..The day or short songs is gone..Many satellite and internet radio stations are playing the music with total disregard to the typical marketing strategies...People also download music just about the same as buying a Cd so I think maybe he needs to be aware of this if his not..In any case this is an awesome track...Total potential..I do hope he does something to it...Man play your sax at th 5 30 mark that would be awesome!!!!
Superb show!!!
Thanks M, I've never worked with this lyricist before, I don't think I would be able to collaborate with him, he seems set in his ways. However, JimimUk PM'd me and was excited in collaborating with me, I have a lot of respect for Jim and would love him to write and sing the song. I'm hoping that I will be able to play a blinding Sax solo. I'm taking more time to write my songs now, I practiced the guitar part a lot and thought a lot about the arrangement. Also, for the first time I've managed to learn how to programme my Alesis SR16 drum machine, it really has made a difference to my writing skills. I sent an email to Alisis in the US and this very nice chap sent me a DVD video instruction on the drum machine totally free of charge, it took a few hours to get the hang of it, I'm still learning in fact. Ideally I'd like to get an electronic drum kit, preferably a Roland or Yamaha, but as with most of us I'm being careful with my cash.
When this has finally been produced I will send it out to some Radio Stations, I would love to prove this lyricist wrong, but time will tell. No pressure Jim...LOL
Thank Dude
Denis
sorry, I don't like the chorus as it is
I would prefer a chorus with your solo1
like the Canadian said: it's very floydish and they had hours of such music with great lyrics and vocals in it.
Brilliant ac guitar and bass. some familiar floyd chords. so why not fix this song to that style?
give it a clean solo guitar and redo the backing track w/o so many beginner mistakes.
Then I think this tune is going to be a killer
Great musician you are... hats off
I would prefer a chorus with your solo1
like the Canadian said: it's very floydish and they had hours of such music with great lyrics and vocals in it.
Brilliant ac guitar and bass. some familiar floyd chords. so why not fix this song to that style?
give it a clean solo guitar and redo the backing track w/o so many beginner mistakes.
Then I think this tune is going to be a killer
Great musician you are... hats off
TritonKeyboarder wrote…
sorry, I don't like the chorus as it is
I would prefer a chorus with your solo1
like the Canadian said: it's very floydish and they had hours of such music with great lyrics and vocals in it.
Brilliant ac guitar and bass. some familiar floyd chords. so why not fix this song to that style?
give it a clean solo guitar and redo the backing track w/o so many beginner mistakes.
Then I think this tune is going to be a killer
Great musician you are... hats off
TK, What are/is beginner mistakes?
I'm open minded to the arrangement, funny that I was jamming with a friend when I made up the chords, and it appeared that my friend seemed to get going on the part you mentioned.
Would love to hear other members thoughts on the arrangement please.
Thanks TK
realy nice piece, downloaded to jam if u dont mind, mix is so nice
but as soon as the drums come in i hear an irregular clicking noise, dont know if u are aware of that..
maybe the total shutdown is too much the 2nd time? just get the silence out there i think..,not a major thing
very curious how this will end up!
might be trying for that solo part, but cant seem to restrain myself to those parts
love when the organ comes in
but as soon as the drums come in i hear an irregular clicking noise, dont know if u are aware of that..
maybe the total shutdown is too much the 2nd time? just get the silence out there i think..,not a major thing
very curious how this will end up!
might be trying for that solo part, but cant seem to restrain myself to those parts
love when the organ comes in
MaxdB wrote…
realy nice piece, downloaded to jam if u dont mind, mix is so nice
but as soon as the drums come in i hear an irregular clicking noise, dont know if u are aware of that..
maybe the total shutdown is too much the 2nd time? just get the silence out there i think..,not a major thing
very curious how this will end up!
might be trying for that solo part, but cant seem to restrain myself to those parts
love when the organ comes in
Cant hear any clicking this end, very strange??
Are you refering to to the last bridge for the solo? The key is in Fm,
Cheers
Denis
Very very nice Denis, great texture & the guitars lovely.Wonderful atmos tres cruiser
Marketing ...ahh yep that old chestnut there are many gems out here unfortunately languishing in cyber Sargasso.
I agree it's no way to long , it's the nature of the piece . Movie Theme 2 me, and as I know you're working with video , I have suggestion which would be put some pictures to this , story telling through song.
Top show
greg
blakhatz
Marketing ...ahh yep that old chestnut there are many gems out here unfortunately languishing in cyber Sargasso.
I agree it's no way to long , it's the nature of the piece . Movie Theme 2 me, and as I know you're working with video , I have suggestion which would be put some pictures to this , story telling through song.
Top show
greg
blakhatz
Lyrics for this now posted... well, the lyrics so far. They may develop in a slightly different direction.
Lyrics to Denis' song
Lyrics to Denis' song
very nice. I love the atmosphere and there is one small spot in your chord progressions (passing tone) that is just great. The tones on all the instruments sound pretty good to me. What do you think. do you think it is too long?
imho I don't think it is to long.. great vocals , some excellent guitar soloing and some good synth lead work and the listener will think it is too short. I used to listen to floyd's album sides over and over , never got old for me ever.
I would like a audition for a solo and maybe vocals ( I may not fit the song vocally , but wouldn't mind trying).
imho I don't think it is to long.. great vocals , some excellent guitar soloing and some good synth lead work and the listener will think it is too short. I used to listen to floyd's album sides over and over , never got old for me ever.
I would like a audition for a solo and maybe vocals ( I may not fit the song vocally , but wouldn't mind trying).
cool cool. great vibe - floydish as they said. although at 0:24, 2:59 and 5:51 the bass run hits one or two notes that aren't in the key - sounds like they're/it's flat when it should be natural or natural when it should be sharp. Might want to double check what notes you're playing and what notes are in the key. but no, the length is great. i have a lot of songs that are 6+ minutes, and I like it that way. i also like long movies - long songs and movies just seem more complete, developed, more for your money, etc.
although i may see what the lyricist means, but it's because the instrumental before verse 2 sounds disjointed from the beginning of verse 2. it sounds like a definite ending. perhaps end the instrumental on an unresolved chord rather than the one you would normally play in that progression (like try ending on the V or something). same goes for the instrumental right before the ending. sounds disjointed. also there's silence in those two disjointed parts, so maybe add some kind of note or percussive sound lingering there.
the progression is great. best of luck with finding a good lyricist to do this one justice.
although i may see what the lyricist means, but it's because the instrumental before verse 2 sounds disjointed from the beginning of verse 2. it sounds like a definite ending. perhaps end the instrumental on an unresolved chord rather than the one you would normally play in that progression (like try ending on the V or something). same goes for the instrumental right before the ending. sounds disjointed. also there's silence in those two disjointed parts, so maybe add some kind of note or percussive sound lingering there.
the progression is great. best of luck with finding a good lyricist to do this one justice.
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Well now...I thought that the lyrics that Jim posted were going to be used for the other song you just posted Denis...Holy Cow...Yes this is it....This is what I had in mind for those lyrics Jim...something along a Pink Floyd sound...Now I feel better..lol....This is great and the lyrics are just right for this....CUT THIS SONG.... 
Flyer
Flyer
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