This is the first song of mine that I can actually say I finished (Well mostly anyway).

Lyrics:

So why don't you
Just take your time
To realize
what's on my mind

And once you do
you just might see
that all I want
is you with me

so if you follow my subtleties
you just might like where they lead
so settle those restless those restless eyes
'cause you found your one and I found mine

I found you
and found me
and what'll it take
to make you believe

that all I want
is to be with you
and all I need
is to be your fool

Break

so settle those restless those restless eyes
'cause you found your one and I found mine

I found you---

Nice melody, good breaks... The tech guys will come and say some techy stuff... but you've got a good little groove going on here, good voice... yup, digging the song, needs a bit more in the drums n mix department... but liking the feeling.... good show!



Hao!

Different indeed..Good vocals an good playing...Not to crazy about the guitar recording and the drums.Cymbals sound a tad to loud..But the song is quite tasteful..Anyways yes a good show!

got a very current sound Absolutel,
well played & vocally a nice touch >
 melody cool jacky johnson warm   groove + lyrics
all in all a great song 

pretty ok but a little yawny. If it's really your first song it's f*cking amazing, though, considering my first song sounded like this.

Well done anyway.

this is a great first COMPLETE song .............
well DONE !!!!!!
ok some of the levels are to hell..........
but u have a great guitar technique ......... and even better voice!!!!!!
could be a bit better recorded ...........but what the hell you are learning
Its got style..............and structure ............... made me want to listen
more please!!!!

i vote 79%

kersploosh

the fish

oh and my first song sounded like this
http://forum.bandamp.com/Audio_Review/1081.html
the levels are to hell and back here too!!!!

wow, your voice is rather nice. i'd say you sound like...a scared brandon boyd. infact it reminds me of incubus quite alot. its really good! all i can say thats bad about it is the drums. if you could get someone to record live drums for you, it'd be 100%

Well, I for one, feel this song has amazing possibilities. You have employed some really nice elements in there (the intro is really nice, then the transition into that catchy, funky groove is really well-done; however, you have one spot in the transition, right at 0:22, where a note goes sharp....this is a little distracting). Your vocal delivery is really impressive (you have a couple places in there, particularly when you stretch out those notes, where you go a little flat, but not too bad..overall your vocals sounds nearly pro). Your drum sounds are kinda "quirky" and the drums are a bit too loud, but, on second thought, these sounds might even add interest (as long as they don't dominate the mix so much...I would play around with this). In this song (just the way it is) I find allot of things I feel could be really catchy and well-suited for airplay. You have used some compositional elements in this song that speak to your skill and awareness of such things. The lyrics are deceptively simple, but when combined with the other elements of the song, the song simply "works". I think you have shown real songwriting/recording skill here because no element (lyric structure, song structure, vocal and instrumental execution) dominates. You have successfully and skillfully interwoven them. I hope that you continue to develop this,(primarily improving the production, cleaning up a couple of the performance problems as mentioned above) as I think you have a winner here!

I love the chee this one invoked..  very kewl.
very kewl indeed...  the recording here was
almost perfect enough for publishing..  I
think you should come up with eleven more
with the same amount of ambiance as you have
in this one, then lay down the tracks on a level
of a professionally done cd, as well as using this
one and two or three more from the best of
the twelve making videos out of them also..
market it.. you'll find you will join the ranks of
musical entertainers that have graced us over
the years..
 that's my take on it!!

blessings,

Blueyes - Danny

This is a great song overall. Of course, as most people have said, there's some technical 'mix' issues, like the drums being too sharp, but it also seemed to me that the whole mix is shifted a bit to the right channel. Maybe it's just me, but it sounded like the whole song was mostly coming from my right headphone...
ANYWAY, great melodies and feel to the song. I would maybe try to put a little more intensity/passion into some of your lines, when it seems like you're building up and could really break out suddenly into something more powerful, and then you don't.... But that's just my preference, it's a great song.

You have a good song here man. I agree that the drums need further mixing. I liked the intro a lot.
hmmm? The song does seem to bleed to the right about 1:45 into the song and doesn't pan back.
Damn you Transfixed now it's bugging me. why you did you point that out.. just joking

very good, good job. i don't know what every body saying about the drums... but i think in the beggining the h-hat needs to go down a 'lil unless thats what you intended to do.

Sorry it took me so long to reply, I tried a while ago but it didn't work I guess :

Anyway, I deeply appreciate all the comments, it's really got me thinking about where to go from this. The first step, and most important for me was actually buying an electronic drum set. I can't say I'm all that great yet, but I have played a lot of Rock Band (Which believe it or not, actually does help a lot). From there I'm just going to spend more time recording tracks, getting the sounds right, mixing and all that. I've got one song I'm working on that has me doing everything (Guitar, drums, vocals). Once I've perfected the drums for it, I'll start putting it all together, and believe when I say it's a step up form this one.

Also, this is a pretty old song I wrote for an ex-girlfriend about three years ago, it's nothing new. I can't wait to show everyone the songs that I really like to play.

hey man..the only problem here is some recording and mastering issues....and let's face it..we cant all have expensive equipment...i know I dont lol...but ya this is pretty good!