Hi All,

I've been browsing around - some very interesting and well done stuff here! I'd thought I'd post my most recent track, all recorded at home by me. I wouldn't yet call this a "final" cut, I will probably add some harmony vocals at some point...but I'd love to hear some other musicians' opinions of it, and this looked like a good constructive place to do so...

Thanks for listening, and hope you enjoy.

Would be a good pitch demo, if you could understand all the lyrics. Try to get them to come out more in the mix down. Overall the song isn't bad. But there is something missing. What is it people?

i definitely think that a harmony that's a few steps higher than the lead vocals would do it good.  i like the song though.  i like the vocal melody lot.  it's not just your boring, no-thought-put-into-this, one-note-for-one-word pattern, which is good.  the lyrics are a little hard to make out.

i don't feel like i've nailed down the "something" that bamapicker said is missing... i agree with him, but i haven't figured it out yet...   i'll think about it though

definatly higher on the vocals. I know what you mean about something missing tho

Not too shabby, Mr. Octopus.  I enjoyed the harmonica part, and would agree that some backup vocals would be good.  Maybe it's missing some spark in the guitar lead part towards the end . . . I think if you put some more creativity it would sound a little less like a cross between Tom Petty and REM.   

Thanks for the feedback, guys! I kinda had the lightning bolt hit me last night regarding the mix...I've got to drop the guitars down during the verses, stripping it back to just the palm-muted version of the main riff. The vox I need to do at least one more take, and add the harmony vocals. I may add some background keys to the verses, too - just for ambiance, very low in the mix.

Keep the ideas coming!

i think that's a good call!  best of luck to you!

I rekon the thing thats missing is a nice lead guitar part. I can hear there is a bit already, but not enough imo and consider putting a completely different effect on it to the rhythm part.

you may just be able to post the song as a new entry.  you won't be able to enter BOTH versions in the battle, i don't think, but having read the rules regarding the battle, you're allowed a "retry" in the way of recording a new mix for a future battle.  if you don't care about the battle though, you could just upload as a different track, and then post a link to the new page

hey octopus..great song man. im gonna check out the remix

ok the remix link doesnt work but that fine. this is a pretty sweet demo track.

(hey i noticed that you're on today...its been a while!)

I think I might know what's missing. A soul-ful gitar solo. With a little distorsion just for the solo. Maybe I'm wrong, but give it a shot!

wow  you pulled this one up from the dust bins.    pretty good tune. I wonder if he ever did more with it.