I just did the vocals and the guitar in a seperate take. And then did another vocals take. Did some gentle panning after playing with the guitar part and then did some heavier panning on the vocals. This is my version of a "produced song." I tried to keep the lyrics about the same to keep the feel of the song the same. Of course the guitar mutated slightly, as I could think about the taps a bit more.

The taps being important because the kid in the song is slapping a coffin. :/ oh well. Later.



Ladies and Gentleman,
I'd like to tell you a story,
About a boy,
who lost his voice.
I think you've heard it before.

Listen to him.
Listen to his soul.
Listen to him scream.
Hear him play.
Hear him bleed.
All over the strings.

Angels would cry.

Angels would cry.
We know that they should.

We know that they should.

He learned to sing,
Through a box of wood.
You still hear them say,
Don't look at him,
Because hes just a kid,
But he knows more about life then I ever did.

The story begins,
With something he played for a hour,
To impress his father.

What is a kid, without a voice,
Without a dream?

He'd grow up to be
He'd grow up to see,
Absolutely
Nothing.


Just smiles and nods,
Just smiles and nods,

Just smiles and nods,
He can't even speak.
Some people think that hes just a freak.

Then he plays,
Screams from his hands.

Everyone who hears him,
Then understands.

That a tongue is nothing,
Inconsequential.

You've heard it before.
The stories eternal.
A box of wood.

He's afraid of the dark
But he plays.
He screams, from the box of wood that he found in the basement

Why is he afraid?
So afraid.

Great arpeggios on the intro... but I don't like the knocking on the guitar (it sounds too sharp, even with the reverb). I like the dry feeling of the vocals, although they sound a little high on the mix to me.  Just add a bass line and get rid of the percussion.  You've got a really nice song here to be developed.

I think this one of your best recordings.I like the organic feel.You sound much tighter on the vocals.Some minor timing issue.Real good man!like really!

Well, it's better than last time, but I still can't tell what notes you're trying to hit. Guitar is still nice, though.

Dude... This is actually pretty slick....

     I like the mood of it, very surreal... and reminds me of stuff I do... so that makes it extra cool..

               JimK

I listened to the first version too.

Believe it or not, I sort of prefer the first version for one reason, it's LIVE.

It tells the story better

Yeah the recording quality is better in this version

Man you should continue to work on this, it has tons of originality.

You will continue to grow and improve!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers

Denis

Nice song. Agree with aetheris about the knocking. A bassline would bring this out well also. I think you should bring the vocals out more, you sound like you're holding back a little bit and it's sitting too far back in the mix, give it all you got, put it in the front, and it'll be even better. As it is now, it has the makings of a great song, the guitar is nice, the vocals work well with it. Good job. Keep at it.

WB

DARK! Good show man!  There are minor things that i would add/change, but this is really good!  Ill be more than happy to help in any way i can!  You already know, my friend!

Well I can't actually tone down the knocking as I record it with the guitar playing, pinky taps. I think it would be absurd to record them in a multitrack, but I like the dynamic it brings to the song.

JimK, that is the best compliment I've ever recieved.

Its difficult for me to write a bassline for anything, becaus eI have to use and octave shifting tool and for some reason it seems to come out too low. I am working on that though, for this song to give me something to work off of for a more acurate four/four on the Hybrid picking