Hey everyone, I just recorded this song.

First song which you will have heard me playing guitar in.

Tell me what you think.

you remind me so much of myself   It's scary.  (not the song, but the resemblance I just mentioned)

You've got ambition, to go after a nice, complex rhythm.  Obviously, the track is rather short, but I think you've got a great start of an idea.

What I like:

-the way you repeat your first line to make the melody carry faster.  It's something that only recently I realized that I could do, too (as in the chorus of my Lock Down song that i've been posting demo versions of here to get feedback).
-the way your chords change in that intro that you repeat twice.  I feel the direction you're trying to go with the pauses in the music
-the song keeps it's pace, even after the verse's chords become much more spread out.  Your melody idea carries it, like i said.  but more than that, the transition back into the faster part doesn't sound "wrong", as if you're lacking a step in between them.  The way you've got your chords right now, your verse/chorus transitions will be easy.
-you've got your personality in your voice.  hoo-rah   Thanks for not being a deadbeat.

What you'll have to change:

-clearly, this isn't like, Master-mixed or anything, but even so, there are a few issues you'll have to make sure you tweak around with, such as the EQ.  I know how hard it can be to record a nice full guitar sound... my original recordings (and the first ones I made when I came back to BandAMP, like my Actually 2.0 song) lack a resounding bass sound.  I've since fixed the issue, but I can't bring myself to delete the version here on the AMP and kill all of those innocent posts made on the song....  Anyway, I try to be as close to the microphone as possible when I'm playing the guitar.  I"m talking like.. "all up in it's grill" close.  Lean in on it so that it doesn't lose that bass sound.  the treble is never a problem.
-the lyrics, though they drive the pace of the song, lack a WHAM originality that hooks the listener.  You've got a start, and I'm not saying that you should scrap your first verse.  Keep it, and build on it to make it rattle up the listener just like your trying to do with the music.
-the guitar's a little out of tune with itself.  Who knows what key it's actually tuned to--- i don't care   But whatever it's in, it's got to be at least in tune with itself.  That'll considerably make the sound more agreeable with the ears of the critic.
-you know your rhythm, but it's a little floppy right now, and not perfectly and clearly played for the listener to follow.  right at first, i was like "woah" as it was going all over the place, but then I quickly realigned and figured out the sound, and then it was all good, because I could hear some of those "almost full wacks" on the chords.  I wouldn't worry about this part TOO too much, as it'll come with time and the more you practice it.

because of the simplicity of the verse's music, I wanted to know if you played and sung at the same time for the recording.  for the final bit, you'll want to do it seperately so that you can tweak that EQ for you music seperate from your voice, and vice versa.

Seriously, I think I'm kind of like you, in this song, with the way you're playing.  I'm interested 

TLS

Hey, not bad for first guitar recording dude.

guitar really suites your voice, please carry on learning to play !!!!!!!

I don't agree with TLS, about puting the mic close, you will loose all the beautiful dynamics of the
acoustic guitar, which is what an acoustic guitar is all about. I use 2 mics, a condensor and a dynamic
mic. This is an area where mic postions vary to personal taste. I got the positions out of a book which I'm happy with, which are the dynamic mic is postioned at the start of the neck about a foot away, the condensor is positioned about half way down the neck further away than the dynamic. Then pan the mix about 9 o'clock to 3o'clock. I also add some reverb, but not too much just enough so that it cuts through

I dont know what type of guitar you have, but I would just focus on the basics for now.

1. Use decent quality strings, a medium guage is a good start.
2. Buy a tuner, if dont already have one.
3. practice scales
4. practice playing with a metronome to help your timing.

This is a positive move in your music

Well Done.

Rated

Denis

well, the reason why i say to get close is because unless he's won the lottery and/or bought some nice new equipment, then he's working with a standard USB mic.  Heck, most people don't just have a condensor mic handy.  He's going to have to get as much sound out of a single mic as possible.  I'll agree that positioning is important, normally, but it's obvious that he's not got the good low tones in the music right now, so I pitched my suggestion.  He'll have to find what he likes best though

Thanks for the comments guys!


Yep I sung and played at the same time . I'll do them seperately for the final recording .


Woo! That's definatley a compliment


Thanks!

I'm definatley inspired to finish it now!

Can I have some more comments pleaseeee?



How is the singing in this one?

Very short. Not bad though.