#1October 31st, 2007 · 06:54 PM
90 threads / 73 songs
263 posts
United Kingdom
Another Let Down
*

This song is not in a battle


Tell me like it is.. vocals flat or not? =/

We'll seeeeee.

Lyrics:

And if we take the long road
Back the way we came
I will just guide your hands
As we just make our way

And I will lead you past
Where we had got before
And I won't see you cause
Of the fog in your heart

Go back where you came
It don't matter any way
I don't see what I saw before
You have changed and so have I
Go back where you came
It don't matter any way
If I think back
A year ago
This was not what I had ever thought of

And as I think right back
Right back right to the start
This was
Never how I'd imagined it to be
I thought we would be together forever
But then you turned it around

Go back where you came
It don't matter any way
I don't see what I saw before
You have changed and so have I
Go back where you came
It don't matter any way
If I think back
A year ago
This was not what I had ever thought of

And you won't find me
And you won't find me
Missing you
And this is the most
I've thought about it
I won't change for you

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#2November 2nd, 2007 · 08:15 AM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
It's mainly the recording of the vocals let this down (vocally, I mean).  There's way too much space between your mouth and the microphone.  It's also a little too staccato in delivery, but that may be because you're playing the piano in a very rhythmic way, and so can't sing smoothly at the same time.

That said, I think this is great start to a good musical piece.  More instrumentation needed, with a greater flow to the overall sound would improve this massively.

And your voice is really fine.  It's not always spot on and pitch perfect.... but that really doesn't matter (I mean, have you ever really listened to some vocalists out there?).  Be more confident in your singing, and get closer to the mic; it'll make a real difference.

#3November 2nd, 2007 · 10:36 AM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
So you're playing the piano at the same time?
Cant you record on separate tracks, you could then 'fully' concentrate on the individual instruments (vocal and piano).
Jims right, your miles from the mic , if you could set it up that you have the piano recorded on a track that you can play back through a headphone to your self while you stand there singing along to it, put some reverb on the vocal channel that you hear in the headphones, it will make you sing better, and a bit of volume to it too so that you don't 'force' your self to sing, let your self hear you singing and you'll do a much better job of it.
Like your lyrics by the way,
You do need to practice you know, because you do have something to say, so make it that people have to listen !!  
#4November 2nd, 2007 · 01:32 PM
90 threads / 73 songs
263 posts
United Kingdom
Eeek listening again this is well out of tune =/

Yeah I didn't play the piano .

Fruityloops!

I'll get closer to the microphone, need to expirement though as I don't want to start clipping, pops etc..

I'll just put a sock over it .
#5November 2nd, 2007 · 04:51 PM
34 threads / 17 songs
581 posts
Canada
Yep  - flat...but you sound a bit like Gordon Gano (of the Violent Femmes) which I like.
#6November 3rd, 2007 · 12:25 AM
15 threads / 12 songs
171 posts
United Kingdom
FALL OUT BOY o/ :p only joking.

Vocals:
Did you put reverb on them? Certainly sounds like, separated it from the piano too much for me.
Also seems like you have some reflected room sound? Or I'm guessing too much high end on the reverb.


Pitchwise they're alright. The thing that gets me are the fluency and confidence! Shakey at points and phrasing makes it sound segmented which doesn't compliment the composition. .
#7November 3rd, 2007 · 09:53 AM
115 threads / 18 songs
1,414 posts
United States of America
hey my friend-- as with a post I left Denis on one of his songs, I don't have headphones for the computer I have access to right now... I'm in New York at the moment.  I'll be back in town on monday (maybe tuesday), so I'll give you a real review then, when I can give it a listen.  I'm just letting you know that I see your song and I'll give you some feedback on it when I'm again able.

lyrically, i like it, but i was a little afraid it was going to get rather cliché at the end with the And you won't find me / And you won't find me / Missing you.  After that though, the feel you had going picked itself back up and ended nicely.  Nice job!

Later
TLS
#8November 3rd, 2007 · 09:57 AM
90 threads / 73 songs
263 posts
United Kingdom
Cool, thanks TLS .

And aar0j, what do you mean Fall out Boy?



Yep reverb maybe too much, I'll go practice singing some more .
#9December 11th, 2008 · 01:20 PM
90 threads / 73 songs
263 posts
United Kingdom
LOL I see the fall out boy resemblance now!!

The chorus has the same chords as "Sugar We're Going Down"!

Try singing that song over this one in the chorus if you know it! lol
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