#1October 25th, 2007 · 08:31 PM
151 threads / 150 songs
265 posts
United States of America
A Butterfly Wing
*

This song is not in a battle


Its been a long time since I've written any music. College applications and school have been getting in the way.

I wrote this for the Texas Reflections Program contest yesterday with the prompt "I can make a difference by..."

I took the topic in a novel way and made this simple song.

Lyrics:
Don’t you know a
Butterfly wing
Can start a hurricane
If you just let it swing ?
Don’t  think
Things won’t come back to you
‘cause they always do
‘cause they always do

A poor man once asked me for a dime
But I didn’t give him the time
Because that money was mine
But that day he found himself in court
And he was one dime short
From making the one call
That could save him

Don’t you know a
Butterfly wing
Can start a hurricane
If you just let it swing ?
Don’t  think
Things won’t come back to you
‘cause they always do
‘cause they always do
A poor girl
Asked me for advice
She needed empathy
But I had to focus on me
And as it turns out
She cried her eyes out that day
But I had nothing to say
And she walked away

Don’t you know a
Butterfly wing
Can start a hurricane
If you just let it swing ?
Don’t  think
Things won’t come back to you
‘cause they always do
‘cause they always do

‘cause they always do
‘cause they always do

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#2October 25th, 2007 · 08:58 PM
117 threads / 55 songs
1,541 posts
Chile
The whole production is pretty good.
The music is pretty well done, but the voice is to loud and sounds weird. Also you get out of tone sometimes.

         > Iszil
#3October 25th, 2007 · 11:27 PM
64 threads / 13 songs
669 posts
United States of America
I'm sorry, I'm short on time, so this is going to be an uncharacteristically poor critique, but here goes:

Great composition, pretty good job on the vocals--they need work, but you've got a great Oasis-style with the music, tone and melody.  I loved the solo.
#4October 26th, 2007 · 01:12 PM
187 threads / 27 songs
2,803 posts
Germany
nice music... I would rerecord the vocal track... I know its difficult to hit the correct note sometimes... and I'd suggest to listen to your vocals very serious... they have great potential.. but they need work
#5October 26th, 2007 · 08:19 PM
151 threads / 150 songs
265 posts
United States of America
Yep. I need voice lessons. Now that I've started taking guitar lessons its becoming a major bottleneck.

Does anyone have any suggestions on improving intonation?
#6October 28th, 2007 · 06:33 AM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,379 posts
United Kingdom
Nice composition.

The volume & tone in the vox sounds OK to me.

Try taking deeper breaths in the vox, practice your scales, holding notes trying to keep them
smooth. Try to build the energy from your stomach without forcing it out [it may help to visualize
the sound coming from your stomach]

I've recently started to recorded the vox with compression, instead of adding it after. Plus adding a little to it
when it's recorded, this results in a smoother recording.

My instincts tell me that you should try to singing closer to the mic?

Hope this helps.

Denis
#7October 28th, 2007 · 07:34 AM
128 threads / 44 songs
2,814 posts
Puerto Rico
Hey Theo!
Practicing scales works for a lot of my friends ,you could do that while playing guitar too.Check for exercises on line your bound to find some good info there.Cool lyrics by the way!
Awesome job on the mix!!!!
Hows school???
Awesome rating here!
#8October 30th, 2007 · 10:53 AM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
I think this is a pretty damn good sounding song.
I like the vocal delivery... it's not always spot on, but that goes well with the (as someone else said) Oasis style of song.

Clean, clear recording that could perhaps just do with a little remixing and mastering.
Good choice of instumental sounds.
Decent construction

I enjoyed.

#9October 31st, 2007 · 02:50 AM
77 threads / 45 songs
2,296 posts
United States of America
..
I really like the lyrics here  

"Don’t you know a Butterfly wing Can start a hurricane" 

My hat is off to you on that.
I wish I could have thought of it.......its very unique 

you have a nice song here..your vocals are very distinctive ..they go well with your music/style...
and That's a good trait in my opinion...to have your own sound...not trying to sound like any other artist...go with what you have..and that's what your doing....way to go
you have written very good lyrics to this song...

Flyer

will rate this song
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