wrote this in my spare time this week. I think I crammed in too many lyrics which caused me not to be able to breathe.

Yes, I know the chords are the same as Zombie by the Cranberries.

Lyrics:
Asking of myself is a crime
I don’t get what I expect every time
If I were someone else I wouldn’t mind
I wouldn’t mind I wouldn’t mind I wouldn’t mind
Asking of myself is a crime
I don’t get what I expect every time
If I were someone else I wouldn’t mind

Summertime
I’m alone in my room
And I’m angry with myself
But I’m addicted to your smell
And I can’t think
I can’t think
I can’t act
I can’t sink
And I’m starting to remember
All the things I promised you
Its five oclock and I am staring at my watch
And I have wasted all my time
And I have wasted all these years
Motivate Motivate Motivate
Procrastinate
And I’m starting to remember
All the things I’m supposed to be

Asking of myself is a crime
I don’t get what I expect every time
If I were someone else I wouldn’t mind
I wouldn’t mind I wouldn’t mind I wouldn’t mind
Asking of myself is a crime
I don’t get what I expect every time
If I were someone else I wouldn’t mind

It’s the same
It’s the same
Every day
And I don’t remember sleeping
But maybe I’m just sleeping all the time
Wasting time
Precious time
Wasted mind
And I’m starting to believe
That life is just a big joke to me
Life is just a big joke to me
Life is just a big joke to me

Asking of myself is a crime
I don’t get what I expect every time
Every time every time every time I don’t mind

Wow!
Nice mix on the instruments but your vocals are a bit buried!
You have really good music!

The lyrics and melody sound great,but there's something going on with the tunning on some parts of your voice.Maybe its just me! 1:09/1:30 I did relistened and I think its me(LOL).
Anyway great song!
M.

you got a really cool heavy sound. in some parts u might get away with leaving the "and" out and just saying "I have wasted all my time" etc. that would give you some space to breathe in the parts that sound like u need to.

 good job with the lyrics. and the mix sounds pretty good aswell.

well done

Ian

Hey another song, well done a spurt of creativivty, great song again, your production is getting better and better.

I think M and SB may have a small point in your vox, don't get me wrong your tone is good, it's you if you see what I mean,  although sometimes I get the feel that perhaps your not taking enough oxegen, your vocal notes fade a bit occasionally.

Well done, keep it up!!!

Will Rate

Denis

cool track dude, just let down by the vocal production. vocals are a bitch in my opinion. for more depth, try double-tracking (record the vocals again in duplicate manually, but make the second version 'wetter' and mix it 40-50% of the volume of the main vox. Also if you arent using a compressor then bolt one on - if you are toy with the settings.