Wrote and recorded this for my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago.
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Your Love

I can hear you coming from a million miles away
And I can feel your heart drumming to your ball and chain
When it seems, in every minute, all your little things
Haunt your every motive with the baggage that they bring

I cut my hands on your wire

…Welcome to my heart
I’ll be the one…
I can be your love…

We can talk about the things that always bring you down
We can discover all parts of you that were never found
I can say I love you just to show I’m here
Tell you everyday and shorn you of your fears

I got my hands on your wire

…Welcome to my heart
I’ll be the one…
I can be your love…

Like in the Iliad I’ll take you from your king
And we can hide under my sheets until the morning
I have more reasons why I should be your man,
I have more reasons than all the grains of sand, love.
I can bandage up all your broken bones
Take up your time and occupy your mind and
You and me we can be up to no good.
And we can sail around the world just like driftwood,

We can sleep until we turn dawn to dusk
I can drive all night until my eyes are rust
Just to kiss your lips one more time and confess
That it is my love you still possess

I got my hands on your wire

…Welcome to my heart
I’ll be the one…
I can be your love…

Like in the Iliad I’ll take you from your king
And we can hide under my sheets until the morning
I have more reasons why I should be your man,
I have more reasons than all the grains of sand, love.
I can bandage up all your broken bones
Take up your time and occupy your mind and
You and me we can be up to no good.
And we can sail around the world just like driftwood,

This is my love…

Nice Drum programming. Nice guitar

Vox are cool, but sound a little distorted, which can easily be fixed.

Interesting lyrics, interesting arrangement

Will rate.

Denis

Thanks. The drums are actually played. I play a Roland TD-3 Drum kit. Unfortunately, my audio recorder doesn't have a cd burner in it so I have to resort to recording the final copy to my laptop which compromises the quality of the song. Thanks for your post, keep'em comming.

Great guitar intro - I'd describe it maybe as U2-ish with a twist?  As Denis said, Im not sure if they are distorted or what, but there is something I hear occasionaly in the vocals.  Clipping a bit maybe?  Gets a little bit messy sounding around 2:40 but I think that maybe be more down to recording quality than anything else.  I would suggest there to bring the guitar fowards a bit more, but as I say, due to the quality it might actually degrade the sound instead of improve it. 
Interesting song for sure!

Cool intro.Reminds me of U2 meets Rock!
Theres some clipping and pops here and there ,but well organized and well put together song.
The chorus has a great hook.

Good job
I'm sure your girlfriend liked it!

This is a very good song!!! This could be outstanding with better production... I love the lyrics they're pretty cool
(sail around the world like driftwood)  the vocal hook I cut my hands on your wire is very good.... the welcome to my heart sticks too...  You should get some money together and do this in a good studio....


the things I hear that take away from the song are all production stuff and have been addressed in earlier post..
vox distorted and to needs light compression
lead guitar too hot (slight popping and distortion)
 a cymbal is to hot  compared to the rest of the drums
mix need to be cleaner and better seperation
some eq overlaps .

That said again ...I still really really like this song and would love to hear it rerecorded
gets high vote cause I like it..

wow, this is really cool. I like the intro, in fact i really like all of it.
 lyrics are cool. very good creative imagery.

 btw, cool name, studio ghibli fan? grave of fireflies is probs the most depressing film i've ever seen....

anyway, is the vox distorted in some parts or is that just my headphones? It sounds like its too loud for the inputs.

Ian