its a bit slower than usual...but it still rocks

Well, gotta say that the recording quality is awful (thought my band's home recordings sound bad!), but leaving that aside, let's see...
The drummer gets out of beat really often, so work on that.
The guitar riff sound pretty nice.
The voice sounds like a cat screaming for his life, but I know that's in part because of the recording.
You need to get tight as a band, need more fiatto.
But is good for a start, so keep it up!

          > Iszil

The guitar riff sounds good, and the song has a lot of energy. Overall, it's a great idea for a song, just work on the timing issues and recording quality.

hey guys this is one of our first recording and we put in as much energy as we cane and i think  we wrote this song the day we resorded it thats why the timings off..and the recordings bad cuz we record on a friends Mp3 player....we r too cheap to record at a studio yet or buy equipment...but we will eventually...thanx for listening

Well, you can actually record with a computer and I guess it will sound a lot better, but you first have to get a mixer, but that's easy to get.
And about the fact that you made it and recorded it in one day and don't think is an excuse to say that was the reason the timing was bad. With my band we have made a song in 2 days and when we finish in we record it immediately, no need of long days practice. What you really need is to practice the timing itself, as a fact, not as a part of a song.
So, that's all I can help with.

          > Iszil

hey there iszil...what i meant was we wrote it then...this was the first time we played it as a band...we record our intire writing sessions...and this came out...anyway the timing isnt even that bad...our drummer was just finding the right beat to put to the song....cuz it was the first time we played EVER

Regarding this as what it is (a working demo) I found it quite impressive, and also educational seeing how a band gets a song idea together. I would not consider this appropriate for marketing a band to a local club or other venue,, but that is not what this is for. I would enjoy hearing this 3 or 4 iterations down the line, preferably with better equipment.