I decided to try something different in that I used my instruments as well as fl studios to create this. What I did was record my own samples (me playing every instrument; drums, bass guitar, both guitar parts), then organize it through fl studios basically to loop certain parts, because I realized that how I wrote it was very repetitive and simple (which is pretty much what I was aiming for.) Completely different genre than I usually write or listen to, but I tried. (I must apologize in advance for my horrible singing...) Please give advice and constructive criticism.

Bring the vocals up much higher.  As you say, it's quite repetitive.

The main problem seems to be with the recording techniques you're using.  FL isn't very well-suited to recording, IMHO.  I only use it to render SoundFonts.

Try some of these tools:

Sibelius (write the music, export as MIDI)
FL (import MIDI, strip out "live" instruments, export WAV backing track)
n-Track Studio (import WAV backing track, record live instruments)

Of course Sibelius is expensive, so you could always skip that step and write the backing tracks directly in FL :-)  Not fun, though.

The song is not bat at all.Keep at it you have a good idea for song structure just work on the parts separately so you can better define them.Not bad at all!!!!

Like Marino  the ideas you have is really cool. As it's your first attempt you will naturally improve.

I think all you've got to do is vary the samples a bit, just try different things out until you find something you like.

I think the vox is ok, next time raise it up please.

Keep working on this idea!!!!!!!!

Denis

awwwwwwwwww
your voice is so cute ^_^
there are some parts where it gets alittle uncertain and wobbles
and they need to be brung out more in the mix,
but other than that its wonderfull!
the lyrics are nice and sweet, even though they kinda disapere into the mix
but yeah thats all fixable ^________^
great job!!!!!!!!!!

hey ............your singing is great!!!
I don't quite understand how you have used fl to organize this song.........
a few clicks and bumps ........the voice sounds great but far away
more please

the fish.

Really good, your singing is really emotional, and that is what i really like, very good...

I like the arrangement,can be made to sound psychadelic,but then again,I dont know you're type of music.The arrangement needs to be a bit more tight,and try to brighten up the mix.Your vocals sounds good,they just need some red bull (Energy And Power)

the songwriting skills are ther it just needs to be cleaned up...and yes more energy every song should desever all the feelings you put into it...so put everything you have into every song

there's not much I can say that hasn't already been said, but the song itself is very very nice. It doesn't matter that it's a little repetitive because it's short and sweet. Overall I like it!

First off, I like the chords they are melodic and interesting.  I really like when the bass comes in around 0:40.  The vocals are sweet.  they have an innocent quality to them.  The have only two suggestions...

1) try to adjust the input on the recording.  there is a lot of hiss or background noise and I think you could help reduce that by increasing the output of the amp or effects board and the input of the sound card.

2) the clicks might be caused by chopping up the audio in the high or low part of the wave, that is to say not near the middle or zero amplitude of the wave.  If you look at the beginning and end of the sample, and really zoom in to when you can see the sampled values, you may notice that it starts somewhere above or below the zero amplitude line.  Try to get rid of the 1st couple of sample values so it will start near the zero amplitude line that may fix the pops and clicks.  It's hard to explain without a picture.  If you need more help, let me know and I'll try to send you a screen-shot of what I'm talking about.

not bad guys keep up the good work