Sorry I haven't been active recently. I've been doing alot of live stuff with my band and thus haven't had the time to write.

Here we are, a simple beat inspired by both Nine Inch Nails and Puddle of Mudd

Lyrics:
I can see that I知 dying
A little more everyday
Can稚 you see that I知 crying?
Or do you think I知 okay?
And I sent out a little prayer
A little prayer for you
Do you even care?
is it all about..you?
Yeah

I do not fear
Anything but my insides
Inside of me
I知 drowning again

And I think I will wait here
Wait here for you
And I think I知 late here
Waiting here for you
Waiting for your answer
Maybe someday its true
Yes No or maybe
It痴 all the same bull
yeah

I do not fear
Anything but my insides
Inside of me
I知 drowning again
And I知 praying
And I知 praying
And I知 praying
And I知 praying
And I知 praying
And I知 praying

well, the instrumental is ok.. over and over.......
the lyrics start to loose their ability to stand
alone and hold the listeners undivided attention.
but is still strong enough to at least make it to
the end of the song..  together the song is
good, but becomes ever so slightly repetitious
before Al Fine.. Still overall it's good! kewl...

Blessings,

Blue - Dan

p.s. ALRIGHT!!! I got to deflower yet another one!
don't ya just love it when you're the first to r&r a song??

Nice song, I get the feeling it would sound better at a faster tempo, or you could work on the phrasing of the vox melody??

The odd harmony in the chorus, or melody beteen th vox gaps.

Denis

I like this....

     Very interesting, I love the phrasing, it is much more the way I would do it myself..  THe only thing is, I think the vox could be just a bit more of a Harsh whispery yell, if you know what I mean... If not, I could maybe give you an example, if you could send me a sample of the music, without vox..  Anyway, as for this now, it's pretty cool.. And Blue is wrong about the lyrics...  This just isn't his style...  I on the other hand, listen to most every style all day every day.. everything from Linkin Park to Liza Minelli (well, ok, maybe not Liza) But from Judas Priest to Johnny Cash..

 Anyway, this is sweet dude... PM me if you wanna know more about the vocal style I am eluding to.. 

      JimK

Harsh whispery vocals would work for sure in places... not all the way through though. 

I also think the lyrics are absolutely fine, actually pretty good, but the vocal delivery doesn't make them very interesting.

I like the song - but it gets a little "samey" with little change to the vocals or instrumental backing.  I'd be tempted to vary the strumming style, add some tonal variation in the guitar effects, and liven up the vocals somewhat!

Just my thoughts!

great guitar effects
brilliant composition
more of this

Lol, that AaaAaa! in the chorus made me think someone was shouting out side my window!
Yes a tendency to be repetitive, damn good piece of music though.
 If I say I do like the clarity of your vocal, then I have to say the lyrical / story line of the song was not so well performed. Like you just do single lines to one tune, hold it for a few seconds at the end (aga-a-a-ai-in), wait and then do it again, I miss the jelly in-between to make it one big pudding of a song !   
But very well created just the same.
Hope the band venture is bringing some success.

Yeah, pretty much only had the first line in my head coming up with the song.

Yes, extremely repetitive, I was going for a more simple sound this time but apparently it was too simple.

Sounds like a really well made song. Love the drum sound!!!!
I was wondering were you had been hiding!!!!!LOL
I'm not sure about that 2nd voice(Ya aahh)! on the chorus maybe work it differently on the mix.Dunno still a great tune!!!