It's about recent breakup with my girl, the songs tells it all. I know quality isn't good but I did my best with my little microphone:)
Any critic is welcome!

Lyrics:
Come to me closely to hear a whisper you won’t understand
‘Cause my mouth is full of broken thoughts
About us, about life I’ll never live

We can’t be happy now can’t we?

Once I was bad and you were good
But now it seems like we’re both lying on the ground
Waiting for the lies to pass further

We can’t be happy now, can’t we?

Trouble made us like this
Too weak and too selfish
The easiest way was to harm yourself and other

We can’t be happy now, can’t we?

We can walk to the stars
We can talk sometimes
We can get lost together
And make us better

We can wake up in the morning
Feeling our hands holding tight

We can close our eyes
And see only each other

But we can’t be happy, can’t we?

Nice song lyrics and arrangements.Some recording issues but other than that great songLove the chorus part with the harmonies both in the vox and in the guitar..The solo part can use a bit of panning or separation.(good job thought)
Welcome to the AMP my friend will keep an ear out formore
Marino

Nice guitar work, in particular the lead guitar. Nice intro. Nice arrangement too

The recording quality I think is OK, personally I would have added some reverb to your vox.

The only thing I would perhaps work on is the phrasing of the vox, you may have to change the lyrics or even remove some of the words.

Overall I think it's a good song.

Welcome to bandAMP.

Denis

Yes, recordings good but for a few point, you could get your self a 'plop-screen' and the bass could be lighter!
But I really do love your lyrics, you've noticed common moments yet written them down beautifully.
But I do agree with Denis that slight changes would fit it better in the song.
I do have a problem with 'We can’t be happy now, can’t we?' it bugs me! It's the 'can't we?' bit , it might be intentional but as it is grammatically incorrect it end up sounding 'odd'! 
'Two wrongs don't make a right' , It should be 'can we?', because your asking her 'We can’t be happy now.....? (Can we?)

I think it's a Germanic thing to say 'not....not' in a sentence.
Like in Afrikaans a battle ship is called a 'For nothing not afraid not boat', or a submarine is an 'I see the boat not'

Be Happy now ! 

Thanks guys, I first wrote lyrics and then melody so the problem with "too  much words" is coming from there. Agree with the reverb absolutely but you must know it's recorded with a microphone that costs 40$ and guitar was also recorded with this microphone:)
Yes Kings, you're right about can't, I simply forgot, in Slavic languages we use double negation.

Lovely harmonies in there. Definitely needs some panning out, so you can appreciate all the seperate parts. And also, i agree with Kings about the pop-shield. You can buy one for quite cheap, or do what i did, and make it! Just get a wire coat-hanger, and some fabric. Here's the one that i made:



The guitar sounds a bit muffled, and bassey.

Just got to the solo bit. Those guitars need panning out, it's all too congregated in the centre.

Anyway, this is a nice song, with some good lyrics.

Superb!! Great tune. I'm touring in Akron, Ohio and it's raining like hell. Fits right in. Thanks for the bittie and hope to hear more of you here.

All the technical stuff I wanted to say about the recording has already been said, although my mic is cheaper than yours and I still manage to get decent quality out of it---check your cables.

The vibe of the song is excellent.  I love the tone of your voice, the harmonies, the solo etc.  The entire song is a little dry---vocals especially so.  Add some light reverb to it and that should fix it.

I agree with Denis, the phrasing is a little cluttered.  It's a matter of removing a few grammatical essentials and using artistic license to get better flow with the vocal melody.

The composition is excellent.  The chord progression and the music fits well with your voice and your lyrics.  You also sing very soulfully, I like it.

I love the nuances of the solo---are you trained classically or in flamenco at all?  The solo does need some work on the levels though.

Recording issues aside, this is an excellent track.  I'd love to hear more of your stuff.  If you ever get the chance to re-record this and fix all the recording issues, please do.

Listening again, really like it a lot.
Even though it's the right length as a song I'm still left with the strange feeling that it's 'cut off' too soon at the end.
Yet that could also be the 'poetry' of the song reflecting the relationship in the lyrics !!

I'm really puzzled as to what kind of material captaincowhouse is using as a plop-screen ???
Whether they are his Grans curtains or not makes no difference , he's got some good recordings!


Hey! would you post some more songs , not only is your talent welcome at theAmp (seriously), I'm also trying to figure out what this site is doing in relation to registering the amount of songs we have posted. (next to your avatar) lol
There's bugger all I can do about it if it doesn't work! But who cares!  

About that cut off at the end, I'm not really sure why the song ends like this, just a coincidence.
On second thought, for me it makes effect that I want to listen it again, or maybe I wanted to imitate my breakup which happened really fast and unexpected.. Only God knows
If you're interested in my other songs, check my last account Jolly15, I forgot password, long story...I'll put new versions on this account soon and delete the old ones.
And about solo, it's a little bit different then my other solos I made, and it was made really fast, improvisation + 2 takes only and that's the real reason why it isn't pure as it should be, by the way you can hear my pick hitting the guitar in some part

wonderful vocals and a very good composition
you need a pro studio now to record such tings. this can only be an idea of what you are able to create

Interesting.  You have an excellent voice, I don't agree that it needs more reverb.  The up-close-and-personal feeling works for me.  It's very listenable.  Perhaps a bit too esoteric to be commercial?  Nonetheless very good.

at the risk of echoing anything already said,
I'll just add, very kewl.. good show all around..
to have recorded this in an analog studio setting,
tweaked it in with a very heavy agressive eq, then
add a very lite, wet chorus effect may have really
brought this up front bro..  ya know...

blessings,

blue