Rough version - first and only take.

I'd like to know what you guys think.

I know the tambourine is off-beat, so you don't have to mention that. 

Interesting.  The tambourine gives it a hippyish feel. Decent little diddy here.  Not really my taste but not bad.

Not the greatest recording quality.

At first, I thought you were playing "Rape Me", given the exact same opening three chords and strumming pattern :P.

I like the style--try up the recording quality next time and use a metronome to keep everything nicely in time.

You need better recording equiptment. Try a large diaphragm condensor mic (you can get one of these for less than $100, go for an AKG) and get a good mix of this.

The tambourine has promise in its sound but its role is frankly lame. It doesn't really add much to the song, when you could do so much more with it.

I loveeee your vocals, just wish they would be clearer. Overdub nice and close to the mic.

Ya I thought it sounded like nirvana's rape me as well

The vocals remind me of Oasis, actually.

lol agree with "rape me".

Cool vocals. Nice chords anyway, even if somewhat common.
Tamborine cool.

Needs some better miking. The mixing isn't too bad, but if you  just get a nice condenser mic or two you can make this sound completley new.

looking forward to hearing more of your stuff.

hey guys.  thanks for the feedback and advice.  yeah, i could use a new mic, for sure.

also, thanks for the compliments on my voice, that is an area i've been striving to improve, so to get compliments on it makes me happy - haha, maybe i AM getting somewhere after all...

i've gotta visit here more often and check out all your guys' music.

thanks!

Minds has the same thought about this sound as I...its very Hippyish...Kinda has the 60's feel to it...but thats way before our time     Right ?     ha......
You already know about the recording quality....but actually its not all that bad
Av has some good suggestions

"try up the recording quality next time and use a metronome to keep everything nicely in time."

All in all not bad for 1 take.....I noticed your vocals are improving also...and the harmonies are good...

Flyer

I like the lyrics, i think i will reach up and move the moon aside. I agree with the old hippy feel, but that IS my kind of music, so this one goes to my playlist! Really record this one!

Thanks!

Flyer, I'm glad you notice my vocals improving, and thanks for the encouraging words and advice

Siren, move that moon, move it aside.  I'm glad you like it.  I will do a proper recording of it, probally this weekend.

As far as the 'hippy feel', I must not have much reality on hippy-ish sounding music, maybe I'll check some out..haha.

I like this song - good lyrics, good vox, you already know about the recording quality, so I won't talk about that.  As for the Nirvana thing, you're third chord is not the same as in "rape me"...but your strumming pattern is what makes the resemblance plausible.  I would suggest trying some different strumming patterns, to give it your own unique sound, maybe try something not quite so frantic sounding?  I dunno - I could be full of shite - so only take the advice you want 

Nice guitar work. Great vox and lyrics. Keep working on your production as already stated above. 

VK

Very lively! Have to compliment you on your vocals once again! I especially like the part at 1min  where it gets that crazy doubling effect or whatever it is that you're doing!

It has a cool groove. I would ditch the tamborine or put it way back....is too out there for me. Vox are cool, just need to be more consistant and clear. Throw in some good bass and you're kickin'. Hope to see the finished product soon, I like this alot!

-Mark