well i stopped writing stuff for a while but here's a new one.

lyrically, it goes somthin like the philosopher said "everything in life is dead" well i cant seem to break that rhyme. everytime i try to breathe the wasted tasteless endless breeze i end up living lies. not this time. break away from the scene of this tasteless suburban dream and wake me when i hit the ground... im goin down til i cant get any lower.  i am never coming back.  hear the telephone ring hear the never-ever-ending scream of everything thats going wrong. i pray to god youre wrong about the bomb and about the lies i was sold and lies ive told. where do i go from here when life aint callin me nowhere and i cant seem to break the rhyme? where do the poets go? i aint got a voice but i got a soul or god at least i hope i do.

I really really like your lyrics, find the song a bit 'separated' into 'parts' and not one whole! But I just love those lyrics! 

As kings said, it is a little too separated. A smoother transition would move the song along better.
Also, during the second time the intro riff is played (after the chorus) the keyboard part in the background would sound better if it was played on guitar.
Great lyrics!

youre a talented lyricist, but i agree with whats said above. it doesnt feel like its all one song at the moment. I'd kinda like to hear the lyrics done with one voice in parts, and then two voices in the parts that you want to stand out, but thats just me.

Ian