I always hated the way this song turned out, although I thought it was some of my better lyrics. But I'm just uploading finished songs from over the years for the sake of doing so. This one was written in 2001 and recorded in 2003.

2001 to 2003?

wow that's long enough.........

and now its 2007 

The structure of the song is there and I like the organ, it goes nice with guitar. Just needs tweeking here and there

You could try raising the key to help your vocals cut through better, or you could try taking deep breath before you sing a note.

Why do you hate the way it's tuned out?

Denis

laid back feel, but denis hit the nail on the head..
your voice isn't as controllable in that lower key..
and overall it needs some work.. just some tweaking
in as he put it..  but don't be so critical on yourself
and keep up the good work.. you'll get there bro..
no doubt in my mind.

Blessings,

Dan - blueyes

haha....didn't think anyone would even see this because I didn't enter into a battle!

Anyway, thanks for the kind words -- I think the reason I hate the way it turned out is because it was one of those times when you had a clear idea in your head of how it was going to turn out and the end product didn't resemble the original idea at all. I think I was going for sort of an incubus thing with the lyrics, the cadence, and the overall feel.

yeah i agree sounds really good but a bit of tweeking might be nice.You write good songs and have a really good voice

Quite good really, as mentioned above, the lower key seems a little strained, but, hey, I get that problem too 

Good work. Keep it up.

WB

GORSH I LOVE ORGANS!!!!!!!!!!

You need to watch the timing between guitar and organ, however. It's off in a few small places.
Like you hadn't decided what to play  yet.

It needs some kind of chorus. Maybe where you raise the vocal range.

Good job, either way.