This is a first draft that would love feedback.

It gets kind of repetitive halfway through.....

I really like the parts where you sing "get away from me" or something along those lines, your voice is great.
The recording sounded good to me!

It just needs something more to shake it up, keep people's interest.

I like it. very simon and garfunkel (apart from the "f*ck", lol) , love the guitar pickin. recordin quility is surprisingly good for a single mic. nice vox, and nice melodys. it would suit some harmonizing vocals very nicely.

Ian

U are to humble in the begining.... Of course there will be somebody that will like it Nice mood, but molody is kinda boring...it's nice, but it's repetitive....u need chorus that will break that repetitivnes...sooner change...anyway, nice try. I like your voice and playing, now you just need good melody...fool around.. Take care.

Spoony

cool guitar playing and interesting lyrics
the song is very nice to listen to =)

85% :P

Thank you!

That was simple but not dull. It works so well with just guitar and voice. Don't never overproduce it. I think they do like that to so many songs nowadays and spoil them.

This made me feel calm and serene.

If I have to say something negative  then I think that with better equipments the sound could be better.
But the roughness I don't mind!   At all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So thanks...

By the way... That sounded a little bit like Elliott Smith. I don't know if you know him but anyway........

sorry Ian, I just don't hear a simon
and garfunkel riff there.. more like
arlo guthrie, bob dylan, cat stevens
and neil simon rolled into one..
 this is a great piece of work bro.
no bout a doubt it!!!
I seem to be in one of those lead
run, moods... that is I can hear it
with just a little four to eight bars
three or four places in the song,
were as the rhythm is keeping that
finger picking style very strong,
just following a chord progression
that would allow in those four to
eight bars, a upright bass or fretless
bass walk around the building a
couple of times, while another
guitar, (acoustic or maybe a big
body jazz box) walked with it,
and maybe even doing a fifth to
third or third to fifth harmony
progressing walk with the bass..
this would only be for those lil
four or eight bar spots "turn
arounds", to coin a phrase..
again this is just cuz I am in one
of my "I.M.H.O." type moods
today bro!


blessings,

Dan - Blueyes

This is really nice.I like it!!!
A lot
I think this song is what I would love to here when Im Happy about life but the vocals are sad so I have mixed feelings.Well hey isnt life like that anyway~!!!
Cheers you get my vote

I like the chords, the arpeggios, the lyrics.
I just think the bridge/chorus need some tweaking, like the guitar going in-crescendo, playing the whole chords strumming, that'd make it more interesting. Well that's my little critic
Cheers

Your fingerpicking is admirable. I like to pretend I'm a fingerpicker myself, but nothing compared to you. Well done. I like this a lot. Have you considered doubling the vox on the chorus to help set it apart a little more?

I agree with Oldies324 that after the first chorus it starts to get a little repetitive. I realize that you're telling a story and this is supposed to be the focal point of the song, but it wouldn't hurt at all to add something else after the first chorus to keep the listener interested! I gave this a 75% because I like this kind of music

This is great. I was singing the chorus at work all day.