#1April 17th, 2007 · 12:08 AM
151 threads / 150 songs
265 posts
United States of America
Midnight
*

This song is not in a battle


I like this one. It is a song about the fictitious suicide of my non-existant brother. Wrote it in about 3 hours today, and already I think its one of the best songs I have.

Lyrics:
I know soon that weíll get started
I know its going to be a shame
I know that soon Iíll be forgotten
And others still will waste away
Pack your bags and move to the country
Hope you still got time to spare
Yet still the reaper tends his garden
He waits for no one to repent

The clock chimes midnight
We go to sleep
Deep still in slumber
The rats are crawling in the streets
The streets
We can never get it back again

Mom and dad go to the city
Brother stays at home with me
Canít remember how it got started
I think itíll never end
The clock chimes midnight
We go to sleep
Deep still in slumber
The rats are crawling in the streets
The streets
We can never get it back again

He was sitting all alone
I was playing in the street
Heard a shot ring out from his window
He was staring at his feet
I canít remember
I canít remember
I canít remember

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#2April 17th, 2007 · 12:17 AM
160 threads / 88 songs
1,666 posts
United States of America
Hmmm......
Very dark....   I must admit you managed to put some very real feeling into this....  I have to wonder, what possessed you to write a song about the suicide of a brother you never had?..  Not that it's wrong, it's pretty cool... and a very serious subject...  My mother is  teacher at a private, elite high school here locally, where the kids are all multi millionaires, and the pressures are very high, and they recently had a student hang himself...  Very sad, so young, and honestly thought that his life was over because he didn't make the grade... 

     Anyway, to the song....  Some quality issues,mixing and such, drums too soft, guitars too loud, but nothing too major.. a little pitchy in the vocals... but the song is awesome...  well constructed... and I love the overall dissonance of it all....  Makes it really cool for me....

              Gets a B+ from me!

                        JimK
#3April 17th, 2007 · 12:23 AM
151 threads / 150 songs
265 posts
United States of America
well, the song originally started out as a strange nuclear-bomb-type-sound and a bass, so it made me start writing random dark words that had to do with death (I thought it fit), and gradually it turned from generalizations to a concrete story. Really it has no meaning.
#4April 28th, 2007 · 09:52 PM
5 threads / 5 songs
590 posts
United Kingdom
i like it. cool atmosphere, especially at the chorus, nice guitar sound. there are some issues in the recording previously mentioned but this is really good.

Ian
#5April 29th, 2007 · 12:19 AM
17 threads / 15 songs
271 posts
United Kingdom
Nice darky tune, I like the lyrics and the way they go along with the music
There's an issue with the volume as it distorts the whole thing
Cheers
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