Not my greatest acheivment of all time but still quite an "Interestng" one. I dont think much of it, in fact i think its completely rubbish. I mainly posted it to see critique and how it can be improved.

Voclas need work. Riffs are decent, that drum beat is weird though. Try using a little more changeup to your song. Its a little repetitive.

Well the vocals were me trying to sing with tongsilitus, the drums i tryed to record, cudnt get it in time cos there are SO many lines to it. Multitracking it is practically impossible. And also i cant thinmk of a second riff to this song.... havent written a song in ages... ill give it a go sum time.
Chears,
Mike

guitar in this calls for harder drums.  More snare, less cymbals.

Agree with jokermanj, needs heavier drums.. replace cymbal beat with double kick drum in sections but use it sparingly! Bass line is great! Keep that.. maybe try to do something a bit different with the guitar to mix things up a bit, keep things interesting.

get a real dummer man, this sounds heavily like computer drums, and not your average computer drums, but like a REALLY bad software on the computer aswell

i cant wait to start posting on here theres some good potential with this but the vocals are rubbish and the drums are hopfully a mechine or sequenced? you need to find a better drum beet for this

the beginning of this song sounds like some low class janet jackson (when she was fat) song that didn't make the album

i agree with jokerman too, but i do like the guitar-riff! but the singing is bad.., too bad!