| Driving Down The Lane |   |
After a long break of writing songs and I mean about 25 years, the company I'm working for said I could upgrade my company car. Being a typical male I became quite excited. So this was the first song that got me back into writing songs again, which has been a blessing for me in that I have had so much fun since. My friend Graham Long wrote the lyrics to the song. I've often thought of adding other instruments to this song, but I think it sounds OK on it's own. Would be keen toknow what you think.
Driving Down The Lane
Rosebay willow herb
And lavender-abloom,
Sweetly sing its perfume
As dawnright shines
And the mocking bird departs
These words of poetry are hidden deep within my song
While driving down the lane
Sweet moments spill from my eyes
And That’s no surprise
Everything eclipsed, even my memories
They appear and fade along the shore
And I dream to drive down that lane –
Just one more time,
Those glorious memories
Is something special in my heart
We’d dance to a tune in the gloom
Driving Down The Lane
Rosebay willow herb
And lavender-abloom,
Sweetly sing its perfume
As dawnright shines
And the mocking bird departs
These words of poetry are hidden deep within my song
While driving down the lane
Sweet moments spill from my eyes
And That’s no surprise
Everything eclipsed, even my memories
They appear and fade along the shore
And I dream to drive down that lane –
Just one more time,
Those glorious memories
Is something special in my heart
We’d dance to a tune in the gloom
| very good |
I like it. I think it's real good. you did a better job singing this one. I love the guitar in this song and the vocal melody is good. so very good job on this song In fact i think I'll download to the player (cause I like Acoustic songs like this).
Greg
Greg
| hey |
this is pretty cool!
I like it.... much better than the first track... more relaxed, and quiet enjoyable..
Very cool..... nice vox...
JimK
I like it.... much better than the first track... more relaxed, and quiet enjoyable..
Very cool..... nice vox...
JimK
| not bad |
I'd hear this on the radio.
I love the guitar part.
I love the guitar part.
hal9000 wrote…
Janes Addiction meets John Denver............had us staring out of the window there for a bit...but thats a good thing....doubling up on the vocal would beef it up a bit.
Marino wrote…
I personally think you're a very good singer songwriter.Excellent music!
Doesn't sound like a song about a new car, O yea "Drive down that lane one more time" lol
Seriously, I think you've done a beautiful job of the song, I'm putting it in my favs any road!
We danced to the tune, in the gloom???? sorry, too poo! weak and floppy! You could ring out on something stronger than that I'm sure.
Seriously, I think you've done a beautiful job of the song, I'm putting it in my favs any road!
We danced to the tune, in the gloom???? sorry, too poo! weak and floppy! You could ring out on something stronger than that I'm sure.
kings wrote…
Doesn't sound like a song about a new car, O yea "Drive down that lane one more time" lol
Seriously, I think you've done a beautiful job of the song, I'm putting it in my favs any road!
We danced to the tune, in the gloom???? sorry, too poo! weak and floppy! You could ring out on something stronger than that I'm sure. :razz:
| it is Good.. |
denis, you are a good composer.. the only critique I have is to re-think the lyrical metering and structuring.. not saying change a word!! don't!!!! follow any of your classic poets (except maybe Poe) or lyricists.. easiest example would be a child's nursery ryhme... "mary had a little lamb.. it's fleece was white as snow.. every where that mary went.. the lamb was sure to go.." take and count syllables of each line.. first is 7, second is 6, third is 7 and fourth is 6 again.. I am again not "telling you" all songs have to have their foundations set in stone that way.... there have been lyrics I have written that had other forms.. example would be 7, 6, 6, 7.. you can use this formula as just a basic gimme to aid in your lyric writing as well as melodies..... again, just an example that no one has to live by.. it just helps.. especially if one let's their lyrics flow then meters them accordingly..... the vocals did sound so much better on this one too! I am, I guess superficial about vocalists.. I always find fault.. which is usually more evident within my own self!!! remember the old addage, the fault we find with other's often resides without ourselves.... thus again I am only sharing basic music teachings my friend! first step is to enjoy yourself and your music.. to many times over the years I have let my music become a burden for one reason or the other.. forced training as a child, forced jingle writing and then forced life preformance to make a living.. I love live performance so much.. just never want to feel like I am forced to do anything.... rather that it's my own idea.. so please again.. just an attempt to share with you bro!
Blessings,
Dan
p.s. plus your left handed.. so am I.. I just forced myself to learn to play right handed.. in fact if you are left handed you are also barely old enough to know what I mean by being forced... forced to try to learn to write with your right hand.. forced to use knives, scissors, ect ect.. beveled to a right handed bevel. so it never cuts for us easily.. forced to use a spiral note book with the spiral binding to the left hand side.. if you used it to the right hand side, you got a zero on your assignments.. of course the teachers could tell.. the tear would be on the right hand side of the paper when you turned it in..... trying to learn to write upside down as it was told to you.. I think you know what I am rambling about there..
Blessings,
Dan
p.s. plus your left handed.. so am I.. I just forced myself to learn to play right handed.. in fact if you are left handed you are also barely old enough to know what I mean by being forced... forced to try to learn to write with your right hand.. forced to use knives, scissors, ect ect.. beveled to a right handed bevel. so it never cuts for us easily.. forced to use a spiral note book with the spiral binding to the left hand side.. if you used it to the right hand side, you got a zero on your assignments.. of course the teachers could tell.. the tear would be on the right hand side of the paper when you turned it in..... trying to learn to write upside down as it was told to you.. I think you know what I am rambling about there..
| re: it is Good.. |
Blueyes wrote…
denis, you are a good composer.. the only critique I have is to re-think the lyrical metering and structuring.. not saying change a word!! don't!!!! follow any of your classic poets (except maybe Poe) or lyricists.. easiest example would be a child's nursery ryhme... "mary had a little lamb.. it's fleece was white as snow.. every where that mary went.. the lamb was sure to go.." take and count syllables of each line.. first is 7, second is 6, third is 7 and fourth is 6 again.. I am again not "telling you" all songs have to have their foundations set in stone that way.... there have been lyrics I have written that had other forms.. example would be 7, 6, 6, 7.. you can use this formula as just a basic gimme to aid in your lyric writing as well as melodies..... again, just an example that no one has to live by.. it just helps.. especially if one let's their lyrics flow then meters them accordingly..... the vocals did sound so much better on this one too! I am, I guess superficial about vocalists.. I always find fault.. which is usually more evident within my own self!!! remember the old addage, the fault we find with other's often resides without ourselves.... thus again I am only sharing basic music teachings my friend! first step is to enjoy yourself and your music.. to many times over the years I have let my music become a burden for one reason or the other.. forced training as a child, forced jingle writing and then forced life preformance to make a living.. I love live performance so much.. just never want to feel like I am forced to do anything.... rather that it's my own idea.. so please again.. just an attempt to share with you bro!
Blessings,
Dan
p.s. plus your left handed.. so am I.. I just forced myself to learn to play right handed.. in fact if you are left handed you are also barely old enough to know what I mean by being forced... forced to try to learn to write with your right hand.. forced to use knives, scissors, ect ect.. beveled to a right handed bevel. so it never cuts for us easily.. forced to use a spiral note book with the spiral binding to the left hand side.. if you used it to the right hand side, you got a zero on your assignments.. of course the teachers could tell.. the tear would be on the right hand side of the paper when you turned it in..... trying to learn to write upside down as it was told to you.. I think you know what I am rambling about there..
I can only send yo my utmost respect for you to write in length and detail of what I can only assume valuable, helpful information, which I welcome with open arms and mind.
I will endevour to try out your advice.
I bless from the bottom of my heart.
Denis
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