‘Ghost Poem’ ; words by Writersblock, music/vox by MaxdB, inspired by PuppetXeno and Kings


The words upon the parchment, the letters on the page,
The monster in the basement, is locked inside the cage,

The cage is like a prizon, a cell within a cell,
The monster in the basement, is crying out for help,

A shadow of a shadow, a presence on the wall,
A scream becomes a whisper, when no-one hears the call,

The rain against the window, you're pressed against the floor,
A shadow of a footstep, creeps underneath the door,

The sound of muffled voices, the footsteps down the hall,
The ever lurking presence, The ear against the wall,

The thrashing of the thunder, that echoes in your ears,
The sound that makes you whimper, that plays upon your fears,

The dripping of some water, in the kitchen sink,
It isn't reassuring, it really makes you think,

The monster in the poem, that's written on the page,
That doesn't really murder, or fall into a rage

The words upon a poet, are words upon themselves,
They print themselves in hardback, they sit upon the shelves,
                                                                                                 

The fire in the corner, it creeps across the room,
And dances on the spines, of books foretelling doom,

The image of a portrait, hangs above the fire,
Most sinister of fathers, is nothing but a liar,


The frightening white of lightning, the flash across the sky,
The freshly painted message, that tells your time to die,

The window shatters inward, a rock lay on the floor,
The rain leaks through the ceiling, and seeps beneath the door,


The monster in your poem, is sharpening his knife,
The words etched in the paper, are soon to come to life,

Your heart is pounding quickly, your head is pounding slow,
The sound of echoed laughter, will follow where you go,

There is the sound of footsteps, a knocking at the door,
You fear the close attention, you don't want anymore,

The poem is completed, your stomach takes a turn,
The crumpled bit of paper, lay in the fire to burn.

If a poem is a poem, a song must be a song,
And if a song's a poem, then the poem's wrong,




I had to cut out some words to keep some space in the song

well this is my version...

YESSSSS!

you did it.

Great

when I saw your name in the list I couldn't wait to hear what's new

It's a pretty good poem/song

I forget i'm your fan Max sorry but now I'm in a redemption process

Congratulations!!!

as swordfissh says: I left my vote

   
That's for 1) For the mention and 2) For the song.
Well done, and well seen. Excellent!
What I mean by well seen, is how you've seen that some lines are 'the story' other lines are 'the explanation of the story', and you have put a different effect to those bits! Cool!
As I listened and read I noticed you sung it differently from the written lyric, but the words you used in the song make much more sense : "The monster in the basement, is crying out for help" You sing 'calls from hell' excellent!
and : "The sound that makes you whimper, that plays upon your fears", I think you sing 'that makes you wonder', and I think it sounds good in the song.

So you like  to frighten little children huh!  Supernatural gobbledygook,playing with peoples feeble minds HA  ..... pathetic excuses for over  imagination ,

 Night mares on horror street you spooky collaborators you.
Bad ol puddytats. 
You know I won't be getting to sleep to night ,hope you're pleased with your selves. 

THANKS

Sorry just remembered to vote .....now please call off the hounds from hell 

Cool sound..nice mix...Nice lyrics  writer   way to go.....cool Vocals  Max...This has that spooky sound .. I do believe rhat was writers intention when he wrote this..it reminds me of something  but I just cant think of what it reminds me of

Flyer

Woahoah, this is something! First; thanks for the mention, then: Indeed the poem and the music go extremely well together (wasn't too sure about that at first, when I hadn't heard it yet) - Great use of effects over the different parts! There is a gradual build up of tension keeping the listener focused on all that's going on... The music sounds so much more cohesive now, it all makes perfect sense now with the lyrics in, that alone is almost scary!

Yes. I too wondered how this would sound. You more than read the poem, you bring the words to life with colorful effects and tension building dynamics. Awesome! I'll vote for this!    Much better with your nightmare music than me sitting in my room playing two chords over and over again while reciting the words. Play this by candle light at the full moon and it's suitable for a secret cult society 
I love scaring small children (especially with my strangely figured frame with protruding bones and long thin fingers...)




BOO!
Ahahahaha!

WB

nice scary stuff................
i cant quite pick the words out from the background ................... i get the song
but the main vocal needs lifting ............ or whats the point.........like the first few phrases are indistinguishable from the background sounds
it could of course be what im listening on but i dont think so (ive changed eq and stuff)

the words are the key 2 your message (Whatever it is?)  and need 2 be in the front of the mix...........

its a mix thing
and im currently really into mix things.....this aint right.........the song is there and done
but we need to hear it
also panning is very static or central............ could changes of this help the vocal come through the middle
the drums are stuck in a hollow room in the middle driving over the voc
the overall sound is great but 2 stand out u need 2 stand out the different sounds..
a heavy review for those that can take it

Im sure u can

its a great song stuck in kleenex

the fish

in a nut shell.............i dont think i should have to read the lyrics to hear the lyrics
ok
fx are fun and i have listened to this 8 times at least
 

Kings, actually i dont know what 'whimper' means, and 'wonder' rimes to 'thunder', and i did sing 'help', just with a very(very!) soft 'p'....., hope i dont disappoint you now
tnx anyway, it was your idea after all, hope to hear yours !


know what you mean Swordfish, on speakers i cant understand myself, partly caused by the effects but also the mix i chose, but played quite loud on (my)headphones the basedrum and very low bass are getting behind the eyes(like PX described so lovely) without the vox getting overruling, i think the music gets more into your system that way.
Also i wanted people to read while listening this time:
A: this s a very well written piece!
B: one has to do some effort to get into these lyrics,
i dont think this will be on radio or cd for people who just consume music which is served like fast food, like poems arent made for comic readers or so..
I believe there is someone named PuppetXeno who uses this technique now and then(with a different view of course), maybe i am getting influenced here
I might try to remix though.., just to experience the difference..

so, the vocal mix i dont regret, what i do regret is that i've put the track through a stereo enhancer, which muffled the sound (thinkin it might support the spookiness at that time)

well, one may conclude i can handle critics like this Swordy, tnx!

2nd time typing(crash) so everybody tnx for listening & comments!
sleep well, ghosts exist only in story's 

forgot to mention: glad you like it WritersBlock! i was wondering about that too of course

and i know it can be done far better than this,

right Kings?

 

Who? me?   

well..., i presumed.., since it was your idea to combine those lyrics to this music..., that you all had it in your head your way, and kind of expected your upload...., i guess...?

i could be wrong there, but i liked the idea