demo version of something i'd like to go into the studio with someday... would really like to drop in some piano on this one.

lyrics :
mama never loved me like citizen cane
and daddy didn't care for my piercings and pain
so i  wandered the railroads and followed the moon
your hand is a beacon that i won't see soon

nodding on poetry, cooked in my lies
bum another cigarette look straight in my eyes
there's a dirty little secret that i called my soul
then we got together and i told you sooooooo

if the drink is a river then i'm in the weeds
i'll pull down your bottom like a heroes great deed
i'm drunker than jesus and all full of hate
i'll kick up a bar brawl with bikers and fates

drowning in whiskey, soaked in my lies
pour another shot and look straight in my eyes
there's a nasty little secret that i called my soul
then we got together and i let you know

when i find a higher power
i'll start all over again

I think this is a good song except for the fact that your 'making it up', don't know how else to put it!
It's like your 'putting the vocal on', like it's not really you!
Like your 'trying' to sound down, drunk and in the rain!
But I still think it to be a good song.

I really like the lyrics. Powerful stuff. The distortion in the background is interesting. The vocals are reminiscent of Pink Floyd (on different drugs maybe). You could pick it up a bit and still have that melodic slow down-and-out felling though.

Thanks, I enjoyed it.

It's like "Rocket Boy" meets something like Tom Waits...how did you do that to your voice...can you still talk?!? It might be interesting to experiment/add a sweeter voice on top or behind. Impressive though. I like the melodic "soooooo" part with the guitar and accompanying vocals. Add that piano, and I'd say you're there, or maybe extend the piano into a solo-ish type if thing...lots of room to let an instrument take over at some point.

Cheers, jeff

thanks fellas.
although i wasn't in love my vocal performance (i rarely am) on this one i assure you kings, down, drunk and in the rain is pretty much my natural singing voice 
i've been rehearsing this with the band i play in TF and the drummer starts it with a nice waltzy-swing that does pick up the tempo quite a bit, i have a bad habit of playing/recording everything really slow when i'm in the basement by myself... just read some of the comments on my previous posts 
this is the first song in many years where i came up with the lyrics first and put music to it after. came together in about 3 hours!
and thanks for the tip jeff, if i get back to this song, or go into a real studio with it, i'll definitely experiment with that soft harmony you suggested.
[ralph]

dont like the distortion in the background. I'd better take an accordion or so for such things.... but what the hell.....

good luck for your studio work