OK, some time ago, I uploaded a bass and drum track, and invited everyone to collaborate, and see what they could come up with, and had some wonderful results.. Iszil, Tak, and Toasted Goat to name a few....  I also, have in the past, gone into the Lyrics Review and put music to the lyrics others have put in there, with great success, Frogmorton Duff by JiminUK for instance... 

   So, Now, I have ressurected the old Drum and Bass track, and taken Kmerroddy's Lyrics, and created this, I hope he, and you, like it.....
  lyrics can be found HERE
                   JimK

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
i dunno what to say bout this really.
its not really my stlye, but it was interesting to hear my words sung differently.
maybe it will grow on me.

hey Jim, too bad about that buzz, but I like what you did, I like the tune, good guitaring, nice vocal effects etc

It's very interesting to have these two tunes (kmeroddy's original and yours) and listen to them simultaneously. Although slightly nauseating I think it adds even more to the essence of the lyrics. Just my opinion

I don't no its kinda well sry but bad the vocals r out of tune but mayb not i have rly expensive head phone on right now ill try playin it through my comp speaker but the vocal fx...r well unnessicary

now that you mention it puppet.......
i dont know if jim was trying to make this more nauseating or not(were you?), but i can see where he was coming from in the way some of the vocals sound, its not a terrible interpretation of the lyrics, i know its no worse than my own, but there is something off about them, i wonder if he re-recorded them a little differently,
maybe without some of the telephone type effects and nicer(ish) backing would it get better?

Actually I felt it really brought out the true Idea of the lyric... it is about alcoholism, and the never ending battle for sobriety...  But, I guess, I was wrong...  Either I have not accomplished my task, or I have mis-interpereted the lyrics...  Please allow me the answer to this question, Did I misunderstand your song? or have I just done a very bad job at bringing out the disjointed, agonizing, confusing, pain, fear, and frustration of fighting for sobriety?

    I anxiously await the answer...
                       JimK

personally I DO like the telephone voc, I listened to this song again late last night when I was really drowsy, and though I really didn't have any drinks since last weekend, it got me in that Amsterdam CS, sunday 7 AM, waiting for the first train home after a wild night of clubbing feel. Haven't experienced that in many years but.. One never forgets, you know how that feels... I should mention the effects of the cold drafts that haunt the platform and the battle against exhaustion here. To me, and maybe this wasn't clear in my first post, this means the tune works, though I do not find it a very comfortable listening experience, and it sounds much colder than kmeroddy's original - that's more a tune getting you in the mood of returning home later on, with the first light of day peeking thru the curtains, and the warmth of the heater carrying you into the state of sleep.

These are my personal associations. I think you made a fine product Jim, but if you play both these tunes together at the same time, THEN it becomes nauseating, like fighting those last few drinks too many while you really just wanted to fall asleep.......

I understood what you where saying PX, and understand, I am simply asking for details, reasons, things that should be imrpoved or changed...  For instance, in Skybound's reply he posted:

For that, I have to respond that the vocals are meant to be out of tune, and angry... the reason for the phone vox, is one to add dimension, and two, because one of the things a friend of mine would do when he was trying to sober up, was call himself when he slipped and remind himself, in his voicemail, about the promise he made to stay clean..  so he would be haunted more by his own drunk words...  It worked well.. 

Kmerrody mentions re-recording the vocals differently, So, I am asking, for more explanation into the song then... Because I feel I may have mis-interpereted the lyrics... I thought it was about that epic struggle to stay sober, but perhaps, it is just about the feeling of being drunk... I dunno...

 Oh, and about the buzz in it... that is odd, The MP3 doesn't have a buzz on it... but somehow during the upload, it corrupted it, giving it a buzz... I can send the buzz-less file to anyone who wants it.. but I think noone will, as it appears to be a flop.... hahaha...  

                     JimK

Whoaaaa ouchy major timing issues which are offensive to my inner metronome...but since its a collab I can ignore it. Still, needs to be redone at once in a studio.

well now that ive re-listened to this, i find its not so much the singing that throws it off, i think your interpretation is fine, but i think its the guitar riff, its too optomistic for the overall theme.....