Pretty dark, far more rocky song. Just thought I'd put this up here for variation. Terrible recording again, etc etc... I know I know. But Unless I actually care about the song I'll never get round to recording it properly. Haha.


VERSE 1

Take your pictures off my shelf,
Nothing ever seems to help.
No medicine, no hospital,
Could revive this pulseless will.

Change your tune and change your breath,
Everything seems so bereft.
Of meaning and of consequence,
Seems I've let my future flinch.

CHORUS

When you wonder who am I,
I put my heart into your eyes.
You will see my conscience dive,
Wanna kill me? So do I.

GET IN LINE.

VERSE 2

So what's your secret, what the key?
To complete solidarity.
Tell me who I need to call,
To get rid of it all.

Don't refute it, don't negate,
Nothing you say has any weight.
Hold a candle, watch it melt,
that's how I feel - that's how I felt.

CHORUS

Change your tune and change your breath,
Everything seems so bereft.
Of meaning and of consequence,
Seems I've let my future flinch.

When you wonder who am I,
I put my heart into your eyes.
You will see my conscience dive,
Wanna kill me? So do I.

GET IN LINE.



- Chester

this is a really cool beat....
nice guitar...
ya the voice quality could be better...
but it doesnt matter
when your singing

GET IN LINE!!!!!

very dark song...
was it intended to be an rock song??

loved this

jesus cant you do any thing wrong?

 

add some drumms some bass couple of dark peiano notes and its my new theme song. take it to the studio for me any ways high vote on this one loved it alot you did good job, and i love the fact that your vox are diffrent from the others great job my friend keep it up!

your lovly paper cut
dolly

Yes, its a terrible recording. Guess its a first impression of a final version far away. Go to a studio man and make it perfect.

Hey triton. I don't generally bother doing a good recording unless it's a song I'm really really proud of. So these are all just inbetweenies that never made the cut.

- Chester

when will you post lyrics?

i want the lyrics

its cool...nice song. Are you planning to spunk it up a bit? cuz that will really bring the song to its full potential.

there ya go, pap

- Chester

I like this one, EG... I would like to see it developed into an all-out rocker! (full band, etc)

yeah go with a boom boom boom bassdrum and some tom hits with lots of gated verb to them. and some crahh-twaaaang distorted guitaring - that would be nice

funny I hear joy division's "walked in line" running in my head now. not in any way resembling your song, but the association was clearly triggered.

You can recognize a good song when the recording is bad and you still love the song, it's the case here, once again ( good  song part). As they say in the above, you should add bass, 3-4 notes, constant with drum (nothing fancy , just something to give the rhythm a bit more power) and it would be a real nice song. I enjoy it in acoustic thought, i don't think there's too much need for it to go electric, although it probably would sound nice to.

When were you born? 25 december? Or maybe...on some magical day, which gives you strenght to concquer the world! "Wow" again.

I think this is an excellent song. Singing along to it as I listen.
This is a song I'd also love to sing.
The guitar is so stupidly simple, the music and melody are all in the voice and you voice it real well.

What excellent lyrics, love the imagery to "Hold a candle, watch it melt, that's how I feel - that's how I felt."

this gets a 99%. Why? Because I think its a perfect song but I don't like the "To get rid of it all." bit. Only slightly.

Making this a rock song out of this with drums and everything it would be really good!
Cause the idea is cool. It's not the most original chords progression line, but anyway sounds good, so get a guitarist, a bassist and a drummer, and record it with them!

         > Iszil