#1August 31st, 2006 · 12:58 AM
17 threads / 16 songs
148 posts
United States of America
Your little Room
*

This song is not in a battle


Here is a song i wrote for a friend who had a baby last week. It's a lullaby, recorded hastily and with too much verb. My question; what to do with it. i would like to avoid too much in the way of percussion so any suggestions are welcome. Thanks for listening. BW, if you can, use headphones for this since it's a bit soft and thin.

Here are the words


Your Little Room

Close your eyes and I'll hold you near
and we'll rest in your little room
as the stars and the planets rise
you are my world
and I, your moon

Go to sleep in my arms and dream
Though your dreams are a mystery
do you dream of a different world
or dream of home
or dream of me?

Close your eyes for the night is here
And in your room there is just us two
In my arms I can feel you breathe
My every breath
I breathe for you

Now I know there will come a time
When our world in this room will end
But for now as I hold your hand
I'm all you need
You're all I am
My little man

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#2August 31st, 2006 · 08:26 AM
90 threads / 11 songs
879 posts
United States of America
I truly enjoyed this one. The lyric content, form and structure are quite nice. The vocals are also quite nice (a different voice from you as compared to your other offerings. I like the vocal quality). The guitar work is tasteful, supports the song and doesn't overpower. I tend to think this should remain without further adornments (percussion, other instruments, etc) as it requires an intimate quality.
#3August 31st, 2006 · 02:33 PM
187 threads / 27 songs
2,802 posts
Germany
I dont think that this tune needs any percussions. The rhythm is mentally made by the picking on the guitar. But it needs less verb and some lovely chamber strings. For a bit better recording quality I wouldnt use a chorus by an external fx device. there are many vst plugins for free to do chorus flanging and so on. The difference is that these vst devices are noise free with full and dynamical effects on a guitar track. Just an advice.

But I give you many points for this gorgeous lullaby. I am not in lyrics but I do like them very much and they remind me of the birth of my little man almost 17 years ago now.
#4August 31st, 2006 · 04:25 PM
34 threads / 17 songs
581 posts
Canada
Very lovely!  A perfect little lullably you've written....I like it the way it is..no percussion needed...but perhaps you could mix the vox a little stronger.
#5September 20th, 2006 · 12:48 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
When it started, I thought..... Nils Lofgren.  As it progressed I still thought the same.
I wouldn't have been surprised to find this on his live acoustic album.

Nice playing, but a bit squeaky at times! 
Really nice vocals.
The recording quality for something done in haste is pretty damn good - the mix is spot on for me.
Lovely stuff
#6September 20th, 2006 · 04:44 PM
17 threads / 16 songs
148 posts
United States of America
Hey Jim
i re-recorded this and posted it as Your Little Room 2.
It's a much better version and mix.
I agree with your comments though.

Thanks for listening
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