#1August 28th, 2006 · 01:48 AM
7 threads / 7 songs
28 posts

This song is not in a battle

I need a little love
to keep me from fading
my mind keeps going blank
it's getting hard to stay awake
i'm fading

I need a guiding light
to lead me through this darkness
my smiles are all fake
can't bring myself to care
i'm fading

I need some kind of spark
to get my heart started
Im dead to the world
cant even feel my own pain
i'm fading

[ mumblel ]

A: "It's better than getting hurt. Better than loving someone and finding out that its not going to last. Feeling nothing is better than getting my heart broken."

B: "I have to snap out of it. This can't go on. Absence of pain is not enough. I wanna be happy. I'm not gonna fade away like this."

A: "It's no use. Wy should I try again when all I do is get hurt. It always end in pain. Dreams and hopes just turn to ashes."

B: "I want to feel again. To laugh and smile and feel my heartbeat race. To touch warm skin. I want to fly to the sun."

A: "Why do I keep dreaming? I will just hurt myself again. Like last time. Like the time before that. Like every time."

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#2August 29th, 2006 · 04:11 PM
34 threads / 17 songs
581 posts
This has loads of potential! Maybe would like to hear some soft brushed snares in the back through-out the first part....

The heavier part...I thought the strumming of the rhythm guitar could have had a little more punch...play less strokes..but emphasize them more...

Another suggestion might be restructure it a little...do the first two verses..then go into the heavy part...then come back to the quieter section and end with the third verse.

Good job! Can't wait to hear some more! 
#3September 13th, 2006 · 01:18 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
I tend to agree with Spoony - but I'd only bring the drums in at about 0:39 then have them more intense at 1:15 to build up the energy within the early part.  That way the heavy bit doesn't jump out quite so much, but rather the whole song leads you there.

This is a good bit of music though.  I enjoyed listening
#4September 13th, 2006 · 02:29 PM
118 threads / 55 songs
3,086 posts
A Very good idea this is. Definately something a lot of people (men, atleast ) can identify with.

The clean guitar part could use tightening up, and you could take more time to do the second part... And yeah the first three verses in a row is a bit demanding to the listener's ear.

And also, for the second part, you could be even more elaborate, with more voices and lines coming in as a huge build-up to the end... With synths in there... Anyway whatever - - this HAS loads of potential!

so yeh.. good luck with it
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