Here's a song i just wrote about how girls grow up faster than guys. There are elements here that I like but I want to know what y'all think. Arrangement, lyrics, solos, whatever you hear that's wrong or right. Oh yeah, it fades out but i don't mind that.
Thanks for listening

Here are the words


No No No

I saw your picture up on Myspace
I didn’t recognize your face
Since you moved to the mountains you’ve changed a lot

I see the metal is all gone
You’re back to wearing your hair long
It’s like all of a sudden you’re real and I’m not

But I remember when you said that you were growing up
You asked me if I’d like to come along
Because life is much more than just showing up
There’s a million different ways to be strong

But I said No No No I can’t do that
When there’s so much going on right here
I won’t go blowing off all of that
And watch myself fade till I disappear
                       

There was a time but the time’s passed
When we were all living real fast
It seemed the rest of the world was just standing still

For reasons known only to you
All of a sudden it was all through
We had to get our inspiration from a little pill

I remember when you said that you were reaching out
And you wanted me to try doing that with you
Because being with somebody’s what it’s all about
Turns out that all that shit you said was true

But I said No No No I cant reach out
That’s not the way I’m supposed to be
Talk like that just freaks me out
Everybody supposed to be reaching out to me

very nice lyrics... and the music's grooving just fine.

My only criticism would be about the voice.. it doesn't seems to really fit with everything else.

Really like it!  Sounds fantastic - I don't mind the voice, it sounds good to me.
Actually, I am going to give it a rating too!

you asked for criticism... hmm.. i seem to have got lost in the way the music is recorded. what i mean is that i sometimes can't follow the chord structure and i think it's because there is no pad 'underneath' all instruments to keep them together. I can find my way through when the backing vocals in 'uhhh' and 'ahhhh' come in. The bass is great, though, and the guitar is very cool 2.

If i were to recommend anything, I'd add some synth or organs to give the song some 'glue' or possibly remix it. Anyway - i like it very much... sounds a bit like Prince and Maroon5 (I think, although I know noone likes being compared)...

Great job!

JBP

Good lyrics. When I read the description I started worrying. But they are thought out well.

Really nice vocals. I think your voice is good for this song. But, I think it would sound better if it was more forward in the mix. Less muffled.

Synth strings. Good, was starting to sound a bit dry.

Wonderful piano.

Dist guitar sounds great...

This is a great song all around. There's nothing I don't like.

Well almost nothing. Heh, now call me a hypocrite... but I don't think this is the right song for a fade out. Or maybe it is, but it wasn't in the right place.

Other than that, sweetness.

nice song...your voice goes well with your music.....well done  

 

Flyer

Hey JPB.
took your advice and added a flutey, chimey , organy thing to it on the second part of each verse. It definitely helps.

Tak...

I MUST fade this song...

for now...

till i think up an ending.

I take your point that it needs an ending and I will act on that. I tend to put songs up here early in the process to get people's take on the concept of the song. That way, I can more easily incorporate other people's advice if I choose to. Final mixdown is not the time to be making major changes to a song. Anyway, thanks for the input.

well I like the song, or atleast the idea of it, the lyrics are great and I think the way you sing is an excellent way of doing that yeah.

hum.

okay.. well the mix itself certainly doesn't leave a "finished" feel to it, really. I think the filtered vox get old real fast, and gives the rest of the song a "filtered" feel, atleast it does that to me. There's something missing in the upper-right area of the stereo image. I think instead of a filter, a stereo chorus (with emphasis to that area) could work really well instead. not sure, it's just a suggestion ofcourse. Or maybe the glue JBP spoke of should seat there....

other than the jumpy/swingy guitar strumming is not something I prefer listening to (gets on my nerves... gives me that driving on crude cobblestone sensation ) (plus it sounds a bit too much like chauvette for my taste ) the construction of the song is good. Could be because that guitaring is drawing most of the listener's focus... The vocal harmonies popping in, heavily panned, made me think of 10CC.

All in all: Song is good, production not so good yet - though praise for your songwriting and instrumental capabilities eh

I like that...I understand that's not much of a critical review but I can't really think of how to improve on it....not to say it is a paragon of funk...perhaps it could be funkified a couple of knots?

Pedrodevez

Thanks for the taking the time to listen and think about this song. I should say again that I post  my stuff early in the process for the very reason that I want feedback then, not when a song is done and in the can. Anyway, I know that rankles some folks here but i see the Amp as just as much a writer's forum as a producer's forum.

As far as the things iv'e thought about.

PX
I used a lot of compression on the vocal and then phased it a bit. i did overdrive the pre a bit, but not a lot. Anyway, I was trying to get a real close up and intense vocal sound that preserved the wiggle at the end of each vocal phrase. I wound up having to sing an inch away from the mic and then compress the snot out of the track. Most of the sound is actually printed on the track so to change it I'll have to re-record. I'm cool with that if it's going to get a better sound. If you have any other methods for getting a really intense, close-up sound lemme know!


The guitar part is just my style - you get no apologies from me.
I grew up playing R&B and really admiring guys like Nile Rogers, who could do that style well. I also play a lot of jazz and swing in my gigs and I love it, so it comes out in my playing.
I think in this case, it's just a subjective thing I can't do anything about. Some people will like my style , some won't. I'm ok with that.
Besides, sounding like Chauvette is a good thing, right?


I've been plagued by equipment problems and I've been gigging a lot so time has been short for recording! I'll try to tighten up the mix, improve the solo and re-record the lead vocals if I can't get them to sound better in the mix.  I've already added a very light pad and some more backgrounds, which definitely helped.

Thanks for taking the time to listen. I appreciate the great ears and the honesty that makes a critique worth reading.

Hey alerion

you did again a nice composition. Bur why cant we hear the finished product? I really would like to hear it and... ...would know that comments make sense hehe

IMO the lead vox articulates too much and runs too fast through hearable notes. That has not to be bad, but I think less is more. And as a prestate recording I think it will become a great song when it's finished.

Let me hear the final, please

Hey TK how goes it?

Of course I'll post the final mix. In fact I did mention I would re-post with the changes suggested by the other Ampers. i just need the time!!!
I have a gig tonight that I'm getting ready for now and I know that when I get home I'll be too tired to do much of anything.
God I'm getting old!

BTW, when you say the lead voc articulates too much, do you mean it's not slurred or soft enough ? Something about the vocals bugs me too but I can't tell what. I think PX tapped into some of it with the FX comment. I'll keep trying if you folks keep listening.

Thanks again

I really really love this tune!!!! Love the beat, the feel, oh it reminds me of something I can't quite put my finger on right now. The vox are tinny though, that's my only complaint. Straight to my favs list!!!!       ya!

It all sounds good, but the vocal effect (or the room it was recorded in, or the microphone) makes the voice sound like you are singing in a tube or large metal water drainage pipe (like the ones they use under roads etc.  Just my opinion, and my speakers aren't the best.  Vocals are good though, kinda similar to jason mraz style or sound a little.