This is the better one.

I recorded the vocals over and undid the mess I made in the first mix where I eliminated any stereo elements it ever had by placing the two separate files for each side panned straight down the centre.

That is all.  Lyrics posted with the first version, listen and notice the difference!

Meh, it's good by my standards.

I like this, its a cool tune . I havent heard the first one .... will listen to it now to try and see the difference, sounds good though .... a bit rough around the edges with the recording

I'm not sure I know what you mean by 'rough around the edges with the recording'.  I mean, yes, I committed a few performance errors, most notably the beat hiccup at 2:33, and my 'relent' at 2:20 isn't all it could be, and my drum machinery is just overall falling short.

But the vocal track here is just so much better, I figured out how to brighten the recording a bit using my multitracker (I have a Fostex MR8) and, well, I didn't trash my mixing job.  I learned to sing by listening and attempting to sing along with Brad Roberts of the Crash Test Dummies, can you tell? I can make my voice sound almost exactly like his if I want to.

yeah the mixing is much better.

I couldn't have guessed about the Crash Test Dummies, but then the only song I know by them is the mmm song.

I think you've quite an interesting piece here...

I like the style of the piece... very well constructed....


        The "Rough edges" I see here, are the vocals... could use a bit more reverb, and some eq'ing to really bring them out, and makethem sound more part of the song.. right now they seem disconnected from the song... but understand, this is nitpicking.. and is easily fixed... esp, if you sent me the individual tracks, I could show you what I mean...

              Jim K

Well, you got an 80% from me last time around - and you've not really done enough for my ears to give you any more.
I still love it, and the comments posted previously still hold with this but............
                as JimK says, the vox are the roughest part of this; but I'm not so concerned about the way they're mixed, rather, the vocal delivery lets them down.  Not dynamic enough in places, and a few off-key bits.