| A bright light |    |
First song recorded.
Sorry folks for the poor mic quality (My voice probably does not deserve anything better!)
I don't play in a band.
Guitar: myseflf
Keyboard/piano: myself
Voice: myself
Drums: computer aided drums (myself)
No bass for now! Maybe later
Lyrics are here. Enjoy or hate!
A bright light.
In my head women walk on water
While men are drowning down below
There’s a little girl on the moon feeling lonely
There’s a boy throwing stones from the pier.
There’s a dog on the street and he’s smiling
‘Cos the old vet said he was going to die
There’s an old naked lady on the piano
And there’s a fat rat playing the violin
There’s a hero weeping on a park bench
In a book no one will ever read
There’s a three legged horse in a dark trail
And there is snow melting in my mouth.
There’s an old rag crying in the closet
And a broomstick beating on the wall
There’s a puzzle of my face on the carpet
And the last piece is crawling on the floor
In their head, there’s a bowl of sand on my pillow
And a grain of salt floating in my eyes
There’s an old naked lady feeling anger
And there’s a small girl playing the violin
There’s a poor man grinning at a scrarecrow
In a wheat field dancing in the wind
There’s a old shovel resting on a tall fence
And there’s a bright light, a bright light in my head
Sorry folks for the poor mic quality (My voice probably does not deserve anything better!)
I don't play in a band.
Guitar: myseflf
Keyboard/piano: myself
Voice: myself
Drums: computer aided drums (myself)
No bass for now! Maybe later
Lyrics are here. Enjoy or hate!
A bright light.
In my head women walk on water
While men are drowning down below
There’s a little girl on the moon feeling lonely
There’s a boy throwing stones from the pier.
There’s a dog on the street and he’s smiling
‘Cos the old vet said he was going to die
There’s an old naked lady on the piano
And there’s a fat rat playing the violin
There’s a hero weeping on a park bench
In a book no one will ever read
There’s a three legged horse in a dark trail
And there is snow melting in my mouth.
There’s an old rag crying in the closet
And a broomstick beating on the wall
There’s a puzzle of my face on the carpet
And the last piece is crawling on the floor
In their head, there’s a bowl of sand on my pillow
And a grain of salt floating in my eyes
There’s an old naked lady feeling anger
And there’s a small girl playing the violin
There’s a poor man grinning at a scrarecrow
In a wheat field dancing in the wind
There’s a old shovel resting on a tall fence
And there’s a bright light, a bright light in my head
pretty good for doing this by yourself. you might try to watch your mix a little closer.
like the solo.
like the solo.
| interesting song-- |
Hi-welcome! This is a great site, I've learned a lot already!
As for the line, "The old vet said he was going to die." somehow doesn't grab me rhythmically. By that I mean that it comes off as if it was written by a guitarist who doesn't sing. If you make it more legato, and not staccato, you'll sound more natural.
Legato meaning that the notes are attached to each other. They run into one another. Staccato meaning that they get hit once and they're gone. They don't decay. Singers usually sing with the notes blended from one to the next. I don't know who you listen to, so I don't know who I could say, "listen to this song for an example."
"Fat rat playing the violin..." shows an interesting thing you don't see often, the sung consonants-Sinatra does that, it's rare, because it's not easy.
The vocals are pretty much in key-you'd probably benefit a great deal from a vocal instructor. Because you already have a lot to offer vocally. You aready have some vibrato-the vocal wiggle at the ends of phrases; and that usually takes a good deal of time to get...
I like the solo. Intro could be shorter. But it's a better 1st effort than my 1st effort!
I noticed you reviewed/voted on one of my songs-thanks for your help! I have 9 more where that came from-esp. DPMB, which is a good example of my vocals.
What I've heard about songwriting, is to find a band you like, and dissect it-the chord structure, the melody line, if the singer sings the root, the 3rd, or the 5th...or if it changes (it usually does; and why).
Also, what helped me a HUGE amount was studying music theory. It's VERY boring, but it helps a lot when you can tell if something's major or minor by sound, or what the space (interval) is in a chord, or between 2 chords that follow each other. There's entire encyclopedias about it, which I didn't know when I started. That way, you could pick between several insanely complex (for rock) 2nd inversion chords of something like Journey, or something easier, take the Stones' "Happy" which is EZ for the keys player, A B chord, and an E in the chorus. You can see that the Beatles liked C# and F# chords (at least in hello, goodbye, and help!). I also find keys/piano 9,000 times easier to write on. Because it always has a pure tone.
As for the line, "The old vet said he was going to die." somehow doesn't grab me rhythmically. By that I mean that it comes off as if it was written by a guitarist who doesn't sing. If you make it more legato, and not staccato, you'll sound more natural.
Legato meaning that the notes are attached to each other. They run into one another. Staccato meaning that they get hit once and they're gone. They don't decay. Singers usually sing with the notes blended from one to the next. I don't know who you listen to, so I don't know who I could say, "listen to this song for an example."
"Fat rat playing the violin..." shows an interesting thing you don't see often, the sung consonants-Sinatra does that, it's rare, because it's not easy.
The vocals are pretty much in key-you'd probably benefit a great deal from a vocal instructor. Because you already have a lot to offer vocally. You aready have some vibrato-the vocal wiggle at the ends of phrases; and that usually takes a good deal of time to get...
I like the solo. Intro could be shorter. But it's a better 1st effort than my 1st effort!
I noticed you reviewed/voted on one of my songs-thanks for your help! I have 9 more where that came from-esp. DPMB, which is a good example of my vocals.
What I've heard about songwriting, is to find a band you like, and dissect it-the chord structure, the melody line, if the singer sings the root, the 3rd, or the 5th...or if it changes (it usually does; and why).
Also, what helped me a HUGE amount was studying music theory. It's VERY boring, but it helps a lot when you can tell if something's major or minor by sound, or what the space (interval) is in a chord, or between 2 chords that follow each other. There's entire encyclopedias about it, which I didn't know when I started. That way, you could pick between several insanely complex (for rock) 2nd inversion chords of something like Journey, or something easier, take the Stones' "Happy" which is EZ for the keys player, A B chord, and an E in the chorus. You can see that the Beatles liked C# and F# chords (at least in hello, goodbye, and help!). I also find keys/piano 9,000 times easier to write on. Because it always has a pure tone.
| To all above |
Thanks for all the nice comments. I thank "journeygirl" for a long review! I did not expect that much. But, hey, it's great to read all of this.
As for my voice. Let me say that, at first, I'm very much an "amateur" musician and not really a signer. Don't intend to become one either. As for the lyrics, I appreciate the comment related to the line " 'cos the old vet said he was going to die". Should change it maybe. As for the "fat rat". I agree, this is very difficult to sing, I had to "separate" the two (staccato) a little.
In the end, though, there is a compromise to be made betweent the poetry, the imagery and the melody. The should all feed the song, like the music in itself. Sometimes, I find that, changing the words are not the best alternative, but the way they are sang (adding a delay here and there to make them rythmically acceptable). Overall, it is a difficult challenge for someone like me, a native francophone (English is really a second language for me). But, I'm having fun and that's the most important. Don't know if anyone above will read this, but I'm posting it anyway.
Cheers!
As for my voice. Let me say that, at first, I'm very much an "amateur" musician and not really a signer. Don't intend to become one either. As for the lyrics, I appreciate the comment related to the line " 'cos the old vet said he was going to die". Should change it maybe. As for the "fat rat". I agree, this is very difficult to sing, I had to "separate" the two (staccato) a little.
In the end, though, there is a compromise to be made betweent the poetry, the imagery and the melody. The should all feed the song, like the music in itself. Sometimes, I find that, changing the words are not the best alternative, but the way they are sang (adding a delay here and there to make them rythmically acceptable). Overall, it is a difficult challenge for someone like me, a native francophone (English is really a second language for me). But, I'm having fun and that's the most important. Don't know if anyone above will read this, but I'm posting it anyway.
Cheers!
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