A flawed first try with loops. Tell me what you think! Here are the lyrics:

Dark River

So you were broken, spoken for,
Breathed in and moved
Like the water, traced like an
Outline of light
On the furthest forgotten expanse
Of the October sky

And time will deny you

Say a little prayer for me
I’m the one who’s fallen now
Say a little prayer for me
Cause I’m the one who’s fallen

Since time forgotten you’ve been
The air that I breathe
Written deeper than this
Reflection of need
Still you search on your knees
In the street for the keys to my heart

As time redefines me

Say a little prayer for me
I’m the one who’s fallen now
Say a little prayer for me
Cause I’m the one who’s fallen

it's special , but it sounds good .

 I like the incoming of the drum at the end of the song , and the changing of the volume in the middle.

nice work

I would love to know what in the world I did to cause the volume change in the middle. I think aliens infected my computer. D.

it has happened to me, when I went back and fixed a spot that wasn't as tight as I wanted.. then when I compressed it, it was louder than the rest of the song...

   Hate when that happens... although it does tend to work to your advantage here....


    anyway, really cool song.... 

             Jim K

very cool. I like the lyrics.

I also like the instrument track. though it's not the best quality, I really like it.

the vocals could be tuned a bit better.. otherwise, nice job.

Nice dark tune...

like the flow of the vocals, although they are a bit out of tune as is been said...

Snares are too loud in the mix... but they're nicely paned.

Great feedback! Thank you all. I struggled with vocals on this track. I only had half of the lyrics written, but was impatient to hear the song so I recorded vocals in two takes. As a result the second verse has a different sound than the first. I also recorded three layers of vocals on first verse (one quite off tune) and only two layers on second verse. I record after my kids go to bed or while they are off playing so everything is done in ten minute bursts. I would love to work with one of you and put a song together. It would be fun and I would like to learn more about the recording process and software use. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement, D.

right on, I really like it... good groove going on...

something depeche mode, but more ... folk-goth like in a way.. me likes and downloads, ...

the vocal production just isn't all that though... needs more brightness, more tightness.... but all in all enjoyable track to listen to, and gets a good rating

You are doing better than I am on drum loops and pc recording. I like this has a good feel to it. good job. like the vocals to.

good tune...I thought the volume thing only happened to me...Good work

Ralph