Didn't really like this song... Just finished it to start a new one. Maybe I'll add the lyrics late if someone is interested...

Maybe to much distortion on the guitars at the beggining... actually Iwould have gone for all clean I think.  Vocals are a bit off in some places... but nice in general.  I'm missing a bass line here, with the  clean guitars and a simple drum pattern added with slight variations to keep interest through the song and to mark the changes better.  maybe also some more vocal harmonies to breake the single line through all the song?

I think the beginning is great,but than there's no culmination momemt.

I like your stuff.