Okay, okay... here's another song, that needs vocal work. Any feedback about the song would be appreciated. I will work on it when I have the time.

I wrote this thinking about my friend who served in a war for 28 months...

Lyrics:
I would not bet on being here.
Or wouldn’t I?
I would not bet that that is all.

Not that I’m backing down.
Not in better times.

I would not bet on being here.
I would not bet their dealing.
I would not bet you’re dealing.
While my days are thinning.

You know that ain’t all.
I would not bet on dying alone.
I would not bet on going away.
I would not stay down.
I would not bet on that again.

I would not bet on drowning.
I would not bet on being here.
I would not bet on falling.
With my face all down in.
I would not bet on dying.
Could you see I’m on my…?
I would not stay down.

Not a bad tune. Lyrics are pretty good, and guitar sounds pretty good. Your right though, vocals need quite a lot of work.  at a lot of times the lyrics arent very audible and kinda of mumbled. It sounds like you've got a pretty nice voice, you just need to annunciate a bit more. Id say that the only thing holding the song back is the vocals mostly. Keep at singing maybe take a few lessons and it sounds liek you'll have a really nice voice.

@ theothercomrades

wow. i really appreciate it. personally, i don't think i have too good a voice, but your words are encouraging. do you think that my words are mumbled because i posted the lyrics or because you can't understand them?

i will admit that i semi-stole the lyric style from alice in chains and tool. i admire maynard (tool) for his amazing lyrics, yet, inaudible words, and laine staley (AiC) for his voice (coupled with jerry cantrel's harmonies, it's unbelievable).

As far as understanding the vocals, I don't know if I could really understand some of them without the lyrics being posted. I see what you mean by going for the tool/ alice in chains style and my advice would be stick with the vocal style you are going for but just try to keep in the back of your mind to firmly anunciate your consinants..

Anyway good luck with that man, and remember, half the battle of being a good singer is confidence sing everything like you mean it and it will come out in the end product.

The song is good - structure, recording etc.  The guitar sound is ok, although it needs a little work.  But wow, the vocals are dire!

I tried singing along to this for a while, it's a pretty easy song to sing, and it's not too hard to make the vocal line interesting.

As far as the you having a good voice is concerned - actually I think the sound, timbre, depth, are very good; so yes it's a nice sounding voice.  My only real gripe is that you're so out of tune.

Record it again with another vocalist, or send the guitar wav file to someone that can sing.

Sorry to knock it so much. 

I like the song, honest. It's just............................

To add to what Jiminuk is saying -- I agree that you have what could potentially be a fine sounding voice, but you're pretty far offkey throughout the song -- THIS CAN BE FIXED! practice, practice, practice. Sing in the car, all the time, at the top of your lungs if you have to. I think a lot of people think singing is this thing you're either automatically good at or can't even be good at. Like anything else it takes practice. The song itself is a fine listen and the lyrics are obviously from the heart. Good job man!

Yeah clustertone sage advice is worth heeding.
The song has a feel , so keep developing and sing sing sing.
 

Thanks all. I appreciate the advice.