This is probably my most polished song to date. I wrote and recorded it all. I think I just put the main guitar on a loop. I'll explain more about it once people say some things. I don't want to give it all away.

lyrics: (in case you care)

Down here dying alone
No way to get home
I’m left here alone
No way to get home

Paying for their sins
I don’t know where to begin
We all pay for their sins
Paying for our fathers’ sins

Time to move along
Time to move along

I’ve been left dying alone
Searching with my eyes closed
Searching for the favored one
Lost and blind, my eyes are closed

I’m dying to go home
Time to move along

not bad-needs drums to expand it some.lets see where can you find a drummer-hey your're a drummer!!! (I read your bio ) the song structure is interesting-a change in there somewhere would also take it to another level.good job,welcome to bandamp....

good structure, vocals are off quite a bit, maybe if you raised the key, play around with a capo

@ newmextex
I'll try to come up with a drum beat to fit the song's flow. The only problem is that I'll need to add bass to fill out the rhythm. Currently I don't have any capacity to add bass, unless it's midi-synth. Also, recording the drums takes a lot of time and equipment. I only have a four track and one microphone. I wouldn't record the drums with less than four mics (snare, kick, and two floaters). Otherwise, it sounds tinny, and distorted.
I will work on a bridge to fit into the song. Not sure what I can do. I used a CMaj, then slid it up to the 6th fret, and then a barred FMaj. Eb tuning.

@ blitzco
Yes, I know the vocals are off. I'm not a singer. I was going for a low, deep vocal but they must be too high since you suggest a capo. I want to keep the guitar in the same key, so maybe I'll mess around with some vocal effects (and practice singing).

Thanks for the advice. I'll work on it when I have the time (probably in a couple weeks).

sounds like a drunk night  i hope you had fun

The lyrics to We Three Kings would fit well here.

The "woo woo" hook/chorus is used to pretty good effect here -- as I have done myself on my most recent song. The vocals need a lot of polishing and it might benefit from some type of bridge/change in progression. Overall I think you have a pretty good tune here. How long have you been writing?

@ clusterone
I've only been writing for a few years... less than two years. My writing is very sporadic, but I seem to have written a lot more recently than I have before

I appreciate the feedback about the hook. And yes, the vocals need polishing.

I've been thinking about adding a bridge, but I'm not sure what to do. I kind of like the simplistic, three-chord progression.

@ juicemanrocks
Not sure if I had been drinking. I'm sure I was at some point during the process. I typically enjoy a beer or two while playing. It's a sort of Hemingway-esque inspiration.

I've got a couple other songs in the works, and I'm going to focus my efforts on them before resvisiting this one. My main focus is vocal work... I know.