I'm putting together a CD of my stuff for promo purposes (to get work) and the guy who's producing it seems luke warm on this song. I love it since it's not a typical love song cliche. It's actually about being institutionalized. What FUN! Anyway, this is the rough he heard with a 2 bar drum track and no inst other that bass and guit. Any suggestions on how to make this sound complete, let me know

Here are the words -

The Treatment

There is a window here that faces West,
I watch the sun go down
I take my glasses off and get undressed
As evening comes to town.
   
Day in and day out and day in
They tell  me that I’m crazy again

Where is my entourage of helpful friends
who keep my medicine?
That paper cup that helps me understand
The place my head is in

If only I could feel what I say
But every word is shrouded in gray

Give me the treatment (right now)
Right now (right now)
Give me the treatment turn my frown upside down
Give me the treatment (right now)
Right now (right now)
Give me the treatment shoot me up or tie me down

You want to help me but we can’t have that
There’s nothing you can do
You’d better go before I start to snap
Or I might go for you
But you think you’ll be the one who can change
The part of me that’s really deranged

Give me the treatment (right now)
Right now (right now)
Give me the treatment turn my frown upside down
Give me the treatment (right now)
Right now (right now)
Give me the treatment shoot me up or tie me down

Give me the Give me the treatment
Give me the Give me the treatment
Give me the Give me the treatment

© David Telles 2005

Complete it with a Rhodes, a fretless bass and some funky brasses. Fading out at the end would work.

Great sound and great voice and great song. Like it.

I played a bit B3 to it with an 8' register as a filler sound. some noodling notes. guess sounds good in there

Exactly what he said up there, keys brass etc.Great stuff!

Hey, cool production and voice.
The style is pretty similar to JBP.
Good work. Agree with the comments above.

        > Iszil "Sir Shredsalot"

It really has kind of an empty sound without a bass and maybe a trumpet or something. Also turn up the guitar. Not really my style, but good stuff.

-LunchTray 

It's a rough demo. By that i mean it's a sketch or thumbnail of the song used as a place-holder until i get around to finishing it. There actually is a bass in there but it's a double octave and the bottom got totally lost on compression so all you hear is the top note. I hear keys too but i can't figure out which or how to use them. Thanks for listening

this is really awsome, and that guy should promote you NOW !!!



 

this is really awsome, and that guy should promote you NOW !!!



 
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this is really awsome, and that guy should promote you NOW !!!



 
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I believe this is a well-constructed song with potentially popular appeal. Nice hook, interesting and humorous lyric content, good instrumentation. The vocals are also quite strong. Like the "call and response" in the chorus. IMO, I think this can work quite well without much additional adornment, but I can also see (if you're seeking more dynamics) the benefits of a well-played b3 and a horn section (even possibly a sax solo, however I think you could risk over-powering the song,which is already rich with interesting tidbits).

Thanks lfsdrummer, I'm psyched you like it. Your band's website is great, btw.
Hey Battlecat, thanks for the cogent and articulate response. I agree there's not a lot of space left but i'm going to try a pad or some unifying line that will hopefully bring the verse groove into focus more. Tritonkeyboarder sent a cool B3 part and those little snippets he did add color. I think the BG vox have to come down in tone and possibly an inversion to make them less in-yer-face.
Thanks for the comments.