#1March 8th, 2006 · 03:43 PM
11 threads / 11 songs
32 posts
United Kingdom
Who
*

This song is not in a battle


This is a song i have written full with guitar and bass,played by me, and drums, played by the computer. Unfourtenatley it is lacking in vocals. I am wondering if anyone would be intrested in writing and singing some lyrics on to the track, it would be greatly appreciated. Hope you like it.

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#2March 8th, 2006 · 07:54 PM
160 threads / 88 songs
1,666 posts
United States of America
Ok, my first impression is the drums are REAL monotonous....  The guitar is simple and effective, though perhaps a bit loose.. I think this has some potential...   at 2:30 it goes REAL weird, and it really doesn't fit well... but it is cool... the ending is kind of weird.. I think I would change up the drums a bit, and break that solo up from the end into a couple parts, otherwise, it isn't bad...
                      JimK
#3March 8th, 2006 · 08:40 PM
48 threads / 41 songs
144 posts
New Zealand
Hey man,

I quite like it actually. Though I would definitely up the bass, and change the drum pattern around. Maybe speed the whole song a bit too.

I really like 2:30. It's my favourite bit. Really resourceful.

Keep it up, bro. Just change those drums!


- Chester
#4March 9th, 2006 · 12:35 AM
2 threads / 2 songs
12 posts
United States of America
interesting chords, not much else
the chord progression is decent enough, but you need to work on your strumming techinique.  The off-kilter strumming combined with the robotic spare drums made for a wierd combination.  Like you say, this is just a sketch that needs to be fleshed out.  I'd be interested to hear the melody, it will probably add a lot to the song if it's anything like the solo line at the end.
#5March 9th, 2006 · 08:01 AM
77 threads / 59 songs
919 posts
Netherlands
i know it is not nice of me, but i voted 'bad' because there is so much to improve here before it should be in a battle
So learn from the reviews, record and post again, I'd listen again.
keep on trying
#6March 9th, 2006 · 01:30 PM
11 threads / 11 songs
32 posts
United Kingdom
TY
Thanks alot for the comments and i'll take them all into account and maybe change drums and get a melodly before reposting
#7March 9th, 2006 · 01:48 PM
2 threads / 2 songs
10 posts
Portugal
I've listened to it and I think it's really good but at 2:30 it gets weird... not in a bad way though.. it's just kinda hard to fit some lyrics in such an irregular song. maybe if you changed the last bit it would get easier. i like it anyway..
#8March 9th, 2006 · 04:00 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
This is not a bad song, it just needs something else to make it interesting.  The drums, while they may help keep the beat, are pretty dire in that they are just sooooooo boring!!!
At 2:30 it sounds like your playing in another key over the top - it's horrible!
However, I think it would be really easy to fit a vocal line over this tune...

As I said, it's not a bad song.  Just more work needed is all
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