Dark - Its been a while since I have loaded a song here. This site is so cool.

the beginning reminded me of pink floyd's echoes briefly, then into some dark moody industrial sounds with the bass, gloomy and cool...i like the tremolo or chorus on the initial vocal....very spacey guitar, is that vocal samples im hearing back there, of a woman?...i would suggest bringing the vocals up in the mix, maybe the guitar too, and those samples if that is what they are...really liked the feeling, though sounds a little incomplete

I'm writting as I listen...

Great sound! Like the suspense feeling. The background voices complete the ambience...
The vocals could be a little bit more up in the mix as a118 said. That would give the song a lot of brightness.

everything seems to happen in the background and nothing close by.., too bad, cause it's a nice atmosphere!
the guitar irritates at some points, just choose where you want it, not the whole song through, but just the good parts, and cut the basslevel at 40 Hz or so, and REMIX is my advice! (and tune that guitar! )
but definitely nice darkness
snaresound is great! Portishead reminding song!
Good luck

Mixing is pretty bad, BUT.... I like the bassline, guitar tone should be tweaked a little,
other than lack of vocals, its pretty good.

ok....  I am writing as I listen.. as I do most songs... sort of.. well, ok, not really most, but some... well, more than some, but less than most... but, anyway....

    This is really cool....  I disagree about the mix..  I think it is bang on exactly what you wanted to accomplish.. We aren't talking about a "song" here... we are talking about atmospheric disturbance.. this is a dark and sadistic shadow on your minds eye... This is what nightmares are born of...  

    Awesome work here.....
                   JimK     I have rated this song

Thanks for the comments all. It is a part of our nature to take the positive comments of the suggestions for improvements. I will consider all suggestions seriously. Even though my nature is to go with JimDaAdtman (thanks dude! That's a great review.)

The sample is my 3 year old, into the record function on my cell phone - Jack and Jill - dumped into Audacity and 'manipulated'. She's an important part of the concept.

Its a private song - so I wanted everything in the back. I didn't really want anything up front.
I was looking for a rumble in the bass to add disturbance to the physical body and to mask the song. I was hoping that the tremelo would add to that - its a secret - feel, although there is nothing secretive about the content.

The guitar? I can see how that second section might work with it dropping out before it starts to wander. Is that what you meant?. I appreciate you pointing that out, MaxdB. But is it out of tune? Perhaps that is the midi keys that are out a little. Midi can be so difficult to get just right.

Can someone else offer anything about the guitar? Or anything, for that matter.

Thanks all.

Yes, a little work on the mix would do, but somehow I liked it pretty good anyway. It's like some kind of interlude for a movie or something, and for that purpose the mix works pretty good. What's "habituary", by the way? :S

i like the feel, but the guitar needs to be louder like the percussion sounds tho and the reverb on them

odd. dark. like JimK I'm writing this as I'm listening. So whatever I'm writing is from first listen experience.

interesting vox sample in the background. creepy. dark...

....

I like synths...

....

ok, turning up the volume, can't really hear all that's going on.
Nice percussive sounds. they sound roomy.

that bass is impressive and gloomy with the volume so loud.
still can't make up what HUH??? THE SONG IS OVER????

ey... uncool!

...

sodding. it's a dark soundscape but it never lifts off. well you can use this as some kind of prologue to a dark concept album or so. best thing about it is that eery bass sound. well done on that. oh and the kid's voice panning across here and there... and the sid-ish synth.

so...

well...

hard to rate this song.

I will do you a "not bad" with the advice of REMIX with a driving (break?)beat and then stretch it to 5 minutes + or so.... that would be cool

I really, really wanted this song to lift a little. 
The bass is great; the dark moody feel is great; the vocals (for a while) are great; but the music just doesn't go anywhere, which I think is a real shame. 
At the point where you end it (or perhaps a little sooner) you could turn up the treble, stick in a synth with more high end, and really turn it into a decent "mood" piece of music. 
Also, changing the guitar sound a little during the track, and bringing it up in the mix would sound ok to my ears (I think: but then I tend to try things only to find that when you do them, they don't sound as good as expected!)
Not bad, but I'd like it developed a bit

it has a very good atmosphere,but like jiminuk said it needs a develop! if you put the song in a cd, it needs an "explosive" track after it... but it's cool! congratulations

I definitely feel, like some other people that there has to be some sort of lift, climax in the song. But otherwise I think it's awesome. It does have a really ambient vibe to it.

- Chester

this is really spooky and deserves 100%