Sailing fool |
1st upload. hi all. I just noticed the BG vocs on this tune are missing. Oh well. This song was written for a friend who does maritime folk music and is very successful at it. He offered to consider one of my tunes for his next CD. I was Psyched about that but I'd really never written anything in that style. Writing a song about sailing and the sea is a lot harder than I thought. It's easy to do the generic Buffet drinking schtick but man, it's HARD to write something that stays in your mind. I gave it a shot anyway and sent it off to him. I heard nothing from him and forgot about it. When next we met, i got the distinct impression he hated the song but was nice enough to avoid saying it. Now, I have no emotional ties to it since I didn't write it for myself so I'm throwing over to the group to see what peer review reveals about it. I urge you to be totally frank and honest since I'm not really invested in the song emotionally (although if you just post to say you don't like it , save your breath. I don't either. Tell me why! That's the question!)
I used a total P.O.S. accoustic on the track which i got from my parents when i was 13. The " pedal steel " type lead is just my PRS with some compression and eq thrown on . the piano is an old Alesis quadrasynth and the Drum box is a DR-660. It was recorded on Protools with their crappy bundled reverb and compression - I can't afford any decent plug-ins yet!
I used a total P.O.S. accoustic on the track which i got from my parents when i was 13. The " pedal steel " type lead is just my PRS with some compression and eq thrown on . the piano is an old Alesis quadrasynth and the Drum box is a DR-660. It was recorded on Protools with their crappy bundled reverb and compression - I can't afford any decent plug-ins yet!
Amazing voice! Very origin. IMO I would take out the drums and would end the song with the guitar that started it. There are some decisions in mixing I cant agree but probably mp3 encoders are composition killers. I would like to hear the wav file.
Perhaps the song needs a catchy chorus that leaves in listeners mind. Probably the reason for your missing emotions?
Keep up the voice. If youve got more stuff like this, submit it to BandAMP. Thank you and welcome
Cheers Carsten
Perhaps the song needs a catchy chorus that leaves in listeners mind. Probably the reason for your missing emotions?
Keep up the voice. If youve got more stuff like this, submit it to BandAMP. Thank you and welcome
Cheers Carsten
Thanks TK.
Yeah, the whole "catchy hook" thing eluded me on this one. The recording and mix are not great , even on the uncompressed file, although certainly better. I recorded the vocal with a real crappy mic and the rest of it was done on the go between gigs,etc. It was meant as a demo for someone who was going to re-record it anyway so i never got really anal about the final mix. Most of my stuff is that way anyway since i never had good recording gear till recently. i can't wait to get some decent verbs and all so I can do better mixes. I wish i could like this song better but i think you're right - it needs a hook.
Thanks for the input.
David
Yeah, the whole "catchy hook" thing eluded me on this one. The recording and mix are not great , even on the uncompressed file, although certainly better. I recorded the vocal with a real crappy mic and the rest of it was done on the go between gigs,etc. It was meant as a demo for someone who was going to re-record it anyway so i never got really anal about the final mix. Most of my stuff is that way anyway since i never had good recording gear till recently. i can't wait to get some decent verbs and all so I can do better mixes. I wish i could like this song better but i think you're right - it needs a hook.
Thanks for the input.
David
re: Sailing fool |
hooked me straight away..............................lovely song..................great voice
american maritime meets country
love it
listened to many times..............
great structure to this song
great story........nearly.............lyric focus.
reminds me of the sailing ship ---google-images-'spirit of baltimore'
well done................i'm a sucker for all things to do with the sea
love the lyrics ..........could they go another verse?.......more story...............cos u just sail away and dont get back to the girl(knocking on your door).............all is sweet but maybe the start lyric could tie into the end...........a bit better.............not a criticism of what uve done......... i love this song
let him get back to her
Love it vote 100% great
welcome to bandamp
splash
please dont condone fishing
american maritime meets country
love it
listened to many times..............
great structure to this song
great story........nearly.............lyric focus.
reminds me of the sailing ship ---google-images-'spirit of baltimore'
well done................i'm a sucker for all things to do with the sea
love the lyrics ..........could they go another verse?.......more story...............cos u just sail away and dont get back to the girl(knocking on your door).............all is sweet but maybe the start lyric could tie into the end...........a bit better.............not a criticism of what uve done......... i love this song
let him get back to her
Love it vote 100% great
welcome to bandamp
splash
please dont condone fishing
OK, lets be honest. I don't like the way you introduce the drums at 1:21. Oh, and perhaps the slide is a little too loud in the mix for my tastes. That's it for the down-side!
On the up-side(!) I really like your voice, and I love the instrument blend. You play pretty well too
This is a good song. Well done!
On the up-side(!) I really like your voice, and I love the instrument blend. You play pretty well too
This is a good song. Well done!
Welcome |
Good stuff and welcome to band amp. I like the song, it reminds me off some country music that I can actually handle. I'm not a huge country fan but it does have some other aspects of style in it that I like. I really like the slide guitar and the piano. My favorite is your voice and the bass line for some reason. I don't think you should ever throw away that old mike because it sounds great to me. Good stuff, I will be listening to your other music too. Maybe your friend didn't put this on his CD because he was scared the best written song on the cd wouldn't be his....haha. Good work
Ha! thanks Putske but i think the guy just didn't like it.
Jiminuk - Yeah the bloody drum track pissed me off. He kept telling me he gigs with percussionists so I gathered the drum track should ideally be a 2 or 4 bar groove they would use as a guideline. i thought " Great! That'll save me time!" I should have fleshed it out to a real drum track. Also this guy has a great, rough voice. Mine is, for lack of a better word, prettier. That and the crappy drum track might have put him off the song. I played this (acoustic guitar and vocs) on a gig though and people liked it. Go figure!
Jiminuk - Yeah the bloody drum track pissed me off. He kept telling me he gigs with percussionists so I gathered the drum track should ideally be a 2 or 4 bar groove they would use as a guideline. i thought " Great! That'll save me time!" I should have fleshed it out to a real drum track. Also this guy has a great, rough voice. Mine is, for lack of a better word, prettier. That and the crappy drum track might have put him off the song. I played this (acoustic guitar and vocs) on a gig though and people liked it. Go figure!
I think your introduction to the song influenced how I listened to it. By stressing how emotionally detached you are from the song, I think I was listening for that to present itself in the performance.
Somehow, I imagine this song with a different arrangement. You've gone for the country feel with the slide guitar and vocal approach, backup vocals would seal the deal. In and of itself, it comes off decently enough, but think of this alternative arrangement. Have the lead vocals be gravelly and and octave down, sort of like older Johnny Cash or Tom Waits. Instead of the band instrumentation, leave it spare, maybe two guitars, maybe a guitar bass and mandolin, something simpler. The whole piece would take on new meaning. It would let the emotional shoe drop in the line "this is the part where I just sail away".
Know what I mean?
Somehow, I imagine this song with a different arrangement. You've gone for the country feel with the slide guitar and vocal approach, backup vocals would seal the deal. In and of itself, it comes off decently enough, but think of this alternative arrangement. Have the lead vocals be gravelly and and octave down, sort of like older Johnny Cash or Tom Waits. Instead of the band instrumentation, leave it spare, maybe two guitars, maybe a guitar bass and mandolin, something simpler. The whole piece would take on new meaning. It would let the emotional shoe drop in the line "this is the part where I just sail away".
Know what I mean?
Yeah TM, You're right . I shouldn't have prejudiced anybody with my own opinion. I'll watch that from now on. Last night I tried re-recording the vox but I'm going to have to get someone else - my voice is too much like a chipmunk. I can't do the low gravelly thing very well but i completely agree with you about the need to simplify it and give it some testicles.
A less intense version of John Hiatt would probably be cool. Thanks for the advice.
A less intense version of John Hiatt would probably be cool. Thanks for the advice.
great vocals. good changes and creative use of instruments. however, i don't really like the effect the acoustic guitar has in the beginning. i personally think it wouldn've worked if it was clean. the steel guitar sounds great. very cinematic piece by the way. produced very well!
Hey Plainclothesman,
thanks for the advice.
I recorded the guitar tracks individually, one on the L and one on the R. I didn't put any fx other than slight compression and some verb. I Tried listening to it just now with the verb turned off and it sounded too dry... maybe somewhere in the middle? I'll screw with it again tonight . Thanks again for the input.
thanks for the advice.
I recorded the guitar tracks individually, one on the L and one on the R. I didn't put any fx other than slight compression and some verb. I Tried listening to it just now with the verb turned off and it sounded too dry... maybe somewhere in the middle? I'll screw with it again tonight . Thanks again for the input.
I had to listen to this because I am a sailor. After playing music, sailing is my second love. I love the lyrics..they're simple but effective. Any true sailor listening to this would be able to identify with the lyrics...you did a very good job considering you are not a sailor yourself. Vox are good...one for the boat cd!
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