For those with an ear for the heavier side of things...
This is a work in progress and as such only the first 2 minutes of the song is posted here. I am interested to know what people think of this so far. Is it boring? Is it irritating? (I hope not )Are the levels okay?
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to respond.

sounds pretty promising...

your drums are getting much better... maybe they're bit to clean though, for the type of music - perhaps dirtying the sound up will make it come more alive...

levels...

I'd do something stereo with the guitar - maybe double the entire part and then panned apart. simply adding stereo chorus could work aswell...
where do you get your guitar effects from btw?

the piano... is low in the mix

the bass requires compression and more low end eq... badly!

vocals-a-kickin... seems you got the effects on those down pretty well.

as for the composition - well it's unfinished... it would be cool if it bursted open after the 2:09... I like that break, it feels as if something really gruesome is coming...

I hope it helps

It certainly does help
Thanks Puppet.  I spend so long working on the music that my ears go dead- a new set of ears listening to it is very helpful.
I bought Acoustica Beatcraft drum program which has a far nicer sound than what I was using before. Drums are panned hard left and right with no effects.
The guitar, strangely enough, is doubled and again panned hard left and right. It was lacking a bit of bite so I even added another channel right down the middle which beefed it up a bit. The sound is however still lacking, I concede. I think it's down to my set up since my guitar runs into my Zoom pedal and from there straight into the mixer (I don't yet have my amp in the equation which I am thinking may help to get a crisper sound).
The piano was intentionally low in the mix although I agree that it could come up a little.
Your comment about the bass surprised me. It is compressed 5:1 but there are no effects on it. I shall explore this thoroughly

Thanks again.

finish it man! finish it.  I liked it, especially the part when I could hear you sing "You fell asleep without a word"  and then bam Hellion!  cool.

Wicked mate, definitely NOT boring or irritating!! I like the guitar sound, nice chunky simple riff! A man after my own heart!!
With some heavier, more distorted drums it could have a real industrial, NiN-type feel. Dont know if thats what you want, but thats what i hear!
You have a cool vocal style, i think the vocals could be a bit louder though!
Cool, goes on my playlist (even in unfinished form!!)

Loud and dark.... I like it!
It's well produced and played, and I love the vocals!

I have to admit, this is, at the moment, my favourite amongst the few songs I've written (if only for the production being better) but I am pleasantly surprised at the comments you've posted here.

To Madbanjoman, many thanks. The song is finished now and posted in the March battle under the title Hellion (complete). I'd be fascinated to know what you think about the finished piece.

To Leon, I am a very big fan of NIN and could only aspire to producing stuff that good. I try to stay away from developing a NIN style to my music but I suppose Trent's influence is bound to surface in my sound however hard I try to prevent it Again, I'd like to hear what you think of the full song.

Jiminuk, thanks but I'm a little confused since you posted on the complete version of this song saying that you weren't too keen on it.  Does this suggest that you dislike the later parts of the song? Or that maybe it's grown on you a little?  I did redo the vocals from this version and made some other minor changes so perhaps I've undone something good I'd love to know.

Hehe, I suppose what I've written does seem a little confusing!  But then look again at what I wrote about the finished version, especially:

Basically, I'm not keen on this style of music - but you do it really well, and this song is good!  In fact, it's good enough for me to download and stick on my MP3 player (or, at least the full version is)