Otra canción, espero sus comentarios

Another song, I hope your comments

here they are the lyrics:

The sky closes, the clouds are found totally gray.  The noise terrifies me, the chaos does not expect and your shades are lost.  The rain and the war, the time that flies and your where put you.  My blood surrounds a wall of stone where I believe that you are, where I believe you are

The moon expects a pact in the Herb that does not reach to see.  Thecold that arrives, my eyes close to reach your heat.  A shot sounds, kiss the land and I fall next to you.  Two souls are found, they embrace with force and they go far from here


y ahora en español

El cielo se cierra, las nubes se encuentran totalmente grises.
El ruido me aterra, el caos no espera y se pierden tus matices.
La lluvia y la guerra, el tiempo que vuela y tu donde te metiste.
Mi sangre rodea un muro de piedra donde creo que estás
donde creo que estas

La luna espera un pacto en la Hierba que no alcanza a ver.
El frio que llega, mis ojos se cierran para alcanzar tu calor.
Un disparo suena, beso la tierra y caigo junto a tí.
Dos almas se encuentran, se abrazan con fuerza y se van lejos de aqui

As for the mood this song is setting: it works, the lyrics are very deep, the imagery very interesting. I can hear the frail emotion eminating from this song.

I don't really like the recording quality though - there's an peak-leveller hitting in occasionally, and this takes away lots of the intended charm.

I love the barking dogs in the background. Maybe use this track on a well produced electronic backing to give it a nice lo-fi/hi-fi contrast feel, which will be very "arty". perhaps what this song deserves.

Good luck!

regards to your brother, Micosis

I think that most of the imperfections could be arranged, like the quality of the sound, this is basically because we only made one take, and there weren't post-production.
So I will try to do what you say Puppet, in fact I told him (Dodosito) that we should record the vocals and guitar separetely, so I could edit them easier, with so much better results.
Thanks on behalf of my brother.

Ooh yes, very poor recording with an auto-leveler ruining the flowing feel of the track.

You're right Micosis, you're brother should have listened to you and recorded the vocals and guitar separately. 

The actual song doesn't appeal too much too me - I think it goes on a little too long with no variations of note.  The vocal line could be changed to give a different flavour at times, and perhaps alter the position at which the chords are played too.

the song sounds good    just a problem with the recording    was breaking up
but  the music flow is fine