#1February 5th, 2006 · 05:38 PM
117 threads / 88 songs
256 posts
United Kingdom
You Were A Meal
*

This song is not in a battle


Okay, okay...the 'guitar' sound is pants...it didn't sound THAT pants as I was doing it, but I now hate it. But I really kinda like the rest of the song. Even if the vocals are crap again.
I've found the mic I wanna get, but its 70 and it probably wont be in the shop when I have money to buy it. You just plugs in the USB port and bobs you're uncle.

You Were A Meal

I got your message written in blood,
I thought your wording was pretty good,
But you see, I had to laugh,
When I tore the fucking thing in half...
You were...
Nothing but a meal.
You were...
Only there to heal
My ego.
I understood your death threats, my love,
They're framed upon my wall,
But you see, I had to laugh,
For I like to see you fall.
I understand that you're upset,
Your eyes are full of hurt,
I'll put you down,
Where you belong,
Six feet in the dirt...
You were...
Nothing but a meal.
You were...
Only there to heal
My ego.
Did you really think I needed you?
I guess thats kind of sweet.
I'm sorry to inform you sir,
You were just a piece of meat.
I'm  sorry than I won,
I always do, I always will.
I'll walk through my life, strong and proud,
Searching for my next kill.
You were...
Nothing but a meal.
You were...
Only there to heal
My ego.

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#2February 6th, 2006 · 02:30 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
I don't believe that I'm the first to review this - and it's been on here all day too!

OK, this has got a real nice semi-techno/industrial feel to it - although I sense that there's just something missing! 
> Vocals are nice, although nothing outstanding this time
> Piano is ok, but a bit "plonky" at times (well, I know what I mean!)
> Bass comes through very well, but gets a little boring
> Guitar actually sounds pretty good to me - it cuts through nicely, and spices up the song a bit
> Synth loop is really great, but stays hidden after the intro.

So, I'd:
> introduce the synth loop (as it is in the intro) more often and louder at various places in the song
> leave the guitar sound as it is
> keep the bass sound, but vary the bass line
> redo the piano from about 3:00 to 3:26 (ish)
> Put some variety in the vocal line.

But don't forget, that's just in my opinion - I still think you have a great talent, but this arrangement's not one of your best
#3February 6th, 2006 · 02:55 PM
118 threads / 55 songs
3,079 posts
Netherlands
I like it... alot

And....

I know what's missing: better sounds! Seems like you need new loops / drum sounds etc, pd! ... I have tons... maybe you'd be interested?

maybe experiment with heavier effects on different parts? it would be cool. here and there some distortion on vocals would be cool too. that vocal harmony sounded exactly like something from Bronski Beat... lol

the guitar is pants yes... it works though... brings an extra lo-fi touch to the whole   - - -

Tune is great - very interesting. Keep in mind not to focus too much on one genre - that'll take away from your original input.

And...

Those are not very christian lyrics, young lady!
#4February 6th, 2006 · 03:28 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
"Not very Christian lyrics" Hmmm

Interview with a vampire was on the other night, these are very apt, I think
#5February 7th, 2006 · 01:41 PM
7 threads
104 posts
United Kingdom
Works well for me. Liked the synth intro & agree with Jiminuk about bringin it back in elsewhere in the song. Guitar sound worked for me, so did the punchy bass. Only criticism is the piano in the verses (e.g. at around 1:51) which just sounded outta tune. But the piano part behind the chorus works well so IMHO keep it in. (somebody said redo it)

Sounds like you are after a 'Samson C01U USB Studio Condenser Mic' ? check out Turnkey in London before u go paying 70 quid for one (their price 59.99)

http://www.turnkey.co.uk/tkweb/stockdetail.jsp?sku=SAMS-C01U&context=WEB
#6February 7th, 2006 · 06:50 PM
117 threads / 88 songs
256 posts
United Kingdom
Comments greatly appreciated! Thankyou for your advice!

The synth is all through the song, but it just seems to get drowned out.
As for 'non-christian lyrics'... lol, ok ok, you got me, I'm a vampire.
I can't tell the paino is out of tune in the verse, but your ears are probably better trained than mine, so I'll take your word for it. The more I listen to that part, the more cheesy it sounds to me.
And yes! It was that mic! Its so pretty! (Considering the thing I use and the moment, which is a 'Logitech USB Headset'...Headphones and microphone combined, that clicks with the slightest movement and is almost falling appart because I stood on the goddam thing...)
Im going off to london next week, to look for a job cause I want to move there. Maybe I can pursuade rich auntie and uncle to put some money towards said pretty microphone... hmmm
#7March 10th, 2006 · 10:16 PM
48 threads / 7 songs
429 posts
United States of America
i love this song. your lyrics are awesome. suddenly i need to... DANCE! WEE!
#8March 18th, 2006 · 07:04 PM
6 threads / 6 songs
52 posts
Canada
the bed synths remind me of something? not bronski beat (but good one PX ) but something of that era. this of course is an era before you were born PD, maybe something your parents were listening to when they were teenagers, kee-rike, do i feel old now 
#9May 7th, 2006 · 04:36 AM
8 posts
United States of America
Nice song ... I love your voice you sound so pretty. And I love the lyrics haha. Nice.   
#10May 16th, 2006 · 12:26 PM
66 threads / 55 songs
697 posts
United States of America
I like this.

hmm... listening...

I think this is my favorite out of yours.

lovin the bass... though I agree, the synth needs to be brought forward a bit. and maybe the guitar panned a bit more and brought down a wink...?

good. nice vox by the way.
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