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#1October 20th, 2005 · 10:34 AM
34 threads / 16 songs
538 posts
Moon's angel

This song is not in a battle

A slow strange song. This is the first oneI have actually "completed", so be patient.  It may sound repetitive to you at some points... what do you suggest to improve that? The chords progression is the same all over the verses... do u think i should add some variety by making substitutions? there are vocals "written" for it but some one else has to sing...  I can't do it at all.  Oh, something else: I have no amp for the moment so I recorded all guitars directly on the microphone jack...

 I'm aware this is just the basic structure of a song, so any comments will be wellcome.

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#2October 24th, 2005 · 02:25 PM
117 threads / 54 songs
3,065 posts
It's slightly repetitive, but you've got lots of things happening in there, and for the length of the song it doesn't get near bothersome. Would be nicer with vocals. What do you mean you can't sing?! I bet your ma made you sing kiddie songs when you were still in diapers, so sure you can sing! Just give it try... Don't be shy!

I think you did real well for a first try. Sure there's lots you can learn but I'm not the one to elaborate on that. Ofcourse recording through the microphone jack doesn't make for a high quality signal, that's obvious, but praise for your efforts, all the way! 
#3October 25th, 2005 · 03:55 PM
13 threads / 1 songs
408 posts
United States of America
Sounds like a great start, a real nice tune. The ending sounds like it just "drops off", meaning everything seems to stop at once, maybe you could try phasing out different parts at different times. Of course it isn't finished so that's all I can say. Good start though.
#4October 25th, 2005 · 06:55 PM
34 threads / 16 songs
538 posts
Thanks for your comments!

I was thinking on a female singer for a sutil-deep sound on the voice that (i think) goes better with the mood of the song... but anyway maybe its time for me to take some singing lessons

And yes, I didn't know what to do with the ending, but yours is a great option.
#5October 31st, 2005 · 10:54 AM
12 posts
very very nice. just sing! no lyrics at all can lose a persons interest unless the music is just awesome (satriani any1?) but even if the lyrics suck horribly, chances are a person would listen to the whole song rahter than close the window after 30 seconds of lyrical silence.

but really great track! ^^
#6November 14th, 2005 · 07:01 PM
15 threads / 15 songs
106 posts
United States of America
I love this piece. Muchos points for creativity. Keep experimenting with sounds.
#7November 27th, 2005 · 06:37 AM
21 threads
235 posts
United Kingdom
"Satriani any1?".......
Yer, go on then.
I think this is going to make an awsome song once u borow/buy an amp and have the vocals added. However you decide to do that.
#8November 30th, 2005 · 09:19 AM
8 threads / 4 songs
246 posts
United Kingdom
nice accompaniment but it really needs the vocal part if you're gonna keep your audience interested.  perhaps record the vox and then repost it when its finished.  it does get boring, but that would be rectified the instant you record the vocals.

and yeah, i agree with CC - the end is a bit abrupt.  maybe take her advice on that and sort it out.  remember, the end of your song is the last thing that the audience will hear.  make it good, otherwise you're not doing yourself justice.
#9January 29th, 2006 · 03:48 AM
3 threads / 3 songs
16 posts
United States of America
Out of the box
I like the mix.  Nice easy groove.  I thought the guitars didn't sound that bad.  Surprised it was direct.  Good job Bro.
#10January 30th, 2006 · 07:52 PM
9 threads / 4 songs
90 posts
United Kingdom
sounds good to me...
got a kind of "air" thing going on. maybe with spoken voices imstead of singing?
#11May 20th, 2006 · 02:09 AM
157 threads / 30 songs
1,953 posts
United States of America
moons angel
I really like this. with a little more work this could be outstanding. Drop in some stong vocal melodies tweak the sounds a little not even sure if I'd change the guitar sounds
they're unique sounding kinda like an old peavey amp recorded dry. nice Work
#12May 30th, 2006 · 10:01 PM
10 threads / 10 songs
101 posts
United States of America
what I notice...
Intro rec level could come up 25%, easy. Actually the whole thing could. Personally, I shoot for everything being a bit too loud at half volume. Guitar feel is nice. If you have vox ideas, and like my voice, I can easily put a vocal track on a wav, if my voice is what you want. I would go more counter-melodies. To change it up, you could play a keyboard, but not use the root chords. This is pretty much a keys thing, (I think, I never heard guitar players talking about inversions) so I'll explain it so anyone who doesn't get it can understand.

This tune reminds my of Sabbath's "Black Sabbath" intro, with closer intervals. Not that this means anything, most songs have some similarity with some other song SOMEplace. I always like wah, which I think I heard there for a second. Ya, there it is. Could bring that up; it's an underrated fx, if you ask me.

I like your pic, I want to copy it, blow it up and stick it to my space door with a hearing protection warning-we got up to 107db the other day, which is loud for an 8 x 20 space. Would you mind if I did so? Come by and see my pics and coming-soon new upload mp3s.
#13May 30th, 2006 · 10:33 PM
10 threads / 10 songs
101 posts
United States of America
almost fergot...
Inversions...OK, on a keyboard, the C is immediately to the left of the two black keys pair. So you have the C, then for the C major, you have the E and then the G. Wait, it's going to get a bit confusing, at least to me it was.

So, for the first inversion, if you take the C and stick it on top instead of it being the bottom/tonic/root, that's 1st inversion. NOW; if you take the E, and stick that on top, there's 2nd inversion. This seems to change the bass note.

Prime example is Journey's music--"Separate Ways" has several. First chord is (at the verses) BEG, with an E bass, it walks down to a D bass, ADF# chord, and the the final is GCE with C for the bass. You get a whole new set of coloring in the chords with inversions. Then it runs back to root position (open chords) for the pre-chorus.

So ya got C, D to Db/C#, right? With the D to C# to get us back into the starting melody. I had to go look on the keys, so I'm hardly the theory expert. What if you walked down from G# to F# to F? Is that "legal?" Plus you could have your singer sing the octave above that CD thing. You could change the tempo about 10 bpm faster (or even more) for some pre-chorus you decide to add, where you go someplace totally different. Change the rhythm there, too, see what you get.

You could add 5/power chords and alternate it with the gentle sound like Sabbath's "Sabbath. Bloody Sabbath," one of my favorites of theirs.

You could do the same thing starting at the A above middle C. Alternate them?

I was listening to "Echoes" and while I notice that they're Pink Floyd, I also notice that not everything they do has to be insanely complex. A lot of their backing vocals aren't too hard. It's the feel, and for that part (which is MOST of the song, I don't care WHAT you play) you're already there. Nice. Come by and see my pics and Mp3.
#14June 4th, 2006 · 03:36 AM
10 threads / 10 songs
101 posts
United States of America
I could...
Let some looney friend/bandmates of mine fiddle, too. With Jimmy doing leads and Muggy doing the most insane bass lines ever written, maybe Ludwig could have something to add, too. Just for fun, of course, if you don't mind. I think James can help me by his odd melodies, whereas I tend to be in charge of the singin' in this band.

I think I'll fiddle a bit alone, but we'll see as James is in the hospital (he'll live, but he did fall and break bones in his face-he's good-looking, so I hope it can be fixed). I'm planning to being him a Cd of the Mp3s and see what he thinks. WE've been playing in the hospital all along. He could use good thoughts, if any of you can throw some this way...
#15June 19th, 2006 · 11:11 AM
9 threads / 4 songs
209 posts
well it is realy groovy man...

u know what i mean

i like this kinda music

and after hearing your somgs u are now on my fav list!!!

ha ha

u and i have something in common i guess!!!

coz ur music sence is kinda same as mine!!!eh??

what u think???
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