So here's some new Stuff from me. Again it took me a lot of time to finish the song, at least over 3 months. And I still think it's not finished. I think there are some nice little passages in between and i tried your advices, so thanks to dave and you others out there it seems that the sound is a bit better. 
The Problem with this song was, that i just couldn't find fitting lyrics. I wrote some lines, or even a whole song but I didn't find a melody that sounds good. So I even thought of leaving it instrumental
So don't mind the lyrics and the vocals are really crap so i took up the only issue where crap lyrics are welcome - Love ;-) Here it is - Just another boring Lovesong

I like the song, its got a dark edge to it and the different elements fit in the mix nicely and recording quality is good.

The brooding vocals fit well...

I also think some nice 'slow but heavy' rock drums would suit this nicely.

Some haunting vocal melodies and a true badass solo I think would be cool too. Maybe some dark, subtle strings as well for a greater sense of scale in places.

The only real criticism I can think of is that I felt the ending was a bit abrupt and the above additions that I think would only enhance what you already have. Personally I'd have ended on the tonic chord (Bm) rather than the Em or derivative you finish on.

In all I really liked the sound and composition and I look forward to hearing more

I like the song, but I have to agree with dave that a better solo would do the song a lot of justice and in parts (esp around the 3:00 minute mark) some backing drums, nothign too fancy, would do nicely. 
Something that I found recently was in getting someone who has had proper voice training can transfer your music compeltley.  To keep it short, my old vocalist left for Uni and he was very basic at vocals, just followed the melody.  His sister who is in my year joined us this year and she has had proper voice training and we were just jamming on a fairly simple riff and when she started improvising this new element of dynamic vocals changed the entire song and made what was a boring riff amazingly interesting.  So my advice is look around and see if you know anyone who has had voice training, because you will be amazed at how they can change a song.

This is a pretty good song. I can understand where you're going with the vox, but in some places it's a little to "brooding" for me, IMO. But pretty good flow and lyrics. Some drums would really pull it together, good job.

has potential. nice guitar play if a little out of tune here and there.

personally I'd put some verb on the vocals or subtly layer them - to make up for the fact that they are obviously crap strangely they still work with the lyrics though

all in all very atmospheric, well done!

Nice song I think there's enough variation except the vocal they are a little monotone but anyway the song is nice but drums and more variation in your voice would help to get it better

everyone else commented on the flaws, but let me just say, the timber of your voice is pleasant. for example, the lead singer of Styx can hit notes you never could- but i hate the way he sounds!!! i hope he dies!!!

You need to apply what has been said, and this song, and probably others, will be really really awesome.

p.s. i especially agree with DaveUK about the solo - need one longer, driving, loud, and epic. easier said than done