#1December 6th, 2007 · 12:08 PM
130 threads / 34 songs
1,413 posts
United States of America
For Lisa (Happy Endings or Bust) [2]
*

This song is not in a battle


Hello, kiddies.  I finished this a little while back, but never uploaded it. It's a followup track to the original For Lisa track which i uploaded back late October.

You should know that this is actually a semi-live performance, all mic'd up and plugged into the machine, played in one take, and then played it while miss Lisa was present.  Later, I went back over it with the layered vocals to make it more like I intended it to sound.

Anyway, due to this "live" element, the track as a whole isn't very perfect   For instance, I've got some serious breathing into the mic going on in a spot or two, and at the end of the second chorus, i defniitely moved away from the mic enough to muffle the sound of my voice.  In the end, I decided to leave the imperfections, as they represent the moment to me.  If I were to redo those parts, I'd always remember how the actual base performance was different than I'm giving to you here.

My intention for uploading this track has nothing to do with a processed professional performance.  I'm just letting you see the most recent outcome of what I've been up to.  If I were to ever get popular by some fluke in pop culture, I'll maybe redo it and make it more "acceptable" to the general public

For Lisa (Happy Endings or Bust) (semi live)

So we're here now with the ones you love
My body's worn out,
and the trip was crazy
We'll have to sit down and talk about it
It's hard to explain, you know
I wish you could have been there

The hard part now is knowing what you'll need for when they ask you,
"How are you?  Because you look like somebody is missing you..."
And the hardest things to say might be something like,
where you could be one year from today

They catch us singing the songs from yesterday;
the ones from long lost friends,
and ones that we've left behind
Breathe in deep--
We've got no regrets,
but your voice with mine,
it's just sent chills down this spine

The hard part now is knowing what you'll need for when they ask you,
"How are you?  Because you look like somebody is missing you..."
And the hardest things to say might be something like,
where you could be one year from today

A little lost, a little lonely,
we've got to stay strong
Hold out until we're found again

What you want is everything to the heart of the boy on the bench over there
He's miles away
He thinks about you every day
Who you are means everything to the heart of the kid who's lost without you
You're miles away,
as if forever away

So, the hard part now is knowing what you'll need for when they ask you,
"How are you?  You look like somebody is missing you..."
And the hardest things to say might be something like,
where you could be one year from today

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#2December 6th, 2007 · 12:16 PM
5 threads / 5 songs
327 posts
United Kingdom
this is really good! you have a natural voice..good harmonies..the guitar sounds good also, i love how you raise your voice in the song, its got a good feel to it...good good brill....rated
#3December 7th, 2007 · 12:35 PM
77 threads / 45 songs
2,296 posts
United States of America
..
This does have that live performance sound to it....I guess it is from the one track take...I notice a few timing issues...and possibly some off key vocals...But I do know about being off key....This has a lot of feeling in it Tim... a lot of emotion...good live feel to it...I do like the harmony also...the song has a decent flow to it too..Somewhat of a Neil Young influence I hear here also


Nice work

Will Rate

Flyer
#4October 23rd, 2009 · 04:37 PM
102 threads / 59 songs
204 posts
Canada
It sounds like the workings of a good song but it sounds a bit too rusty for my taste. I get an impression that you're passionate about the subject matter from your tone but I think the vocals and the guitar need a good deal of work. The whole work seems a bit muddied from the guitar, particularly at times when it's a bit off time, and that makes it hard to discern any sort of pattern, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it can make the song a bit more droning. It sort of sounds like Guinnevere by CSNY (which happens to be a personal favourite) and I think if you polish up the vocals and the guitar you could turn this into something similarly introspective and slightly spooky, but until then it feels a bit too confusing.
#5October 23rd, 2009 · 04:52 PM
130 threads / 34 songs
1,413 posts
United States of America
I concede: I agree with you totally about the "bit too confusing" part.  Time always tells, and I've certainly seen some areas to improve.  It's crazy, but it's been almost 2 years since that upload.  Feels like less than half that time.

If I can dig the general chord flow back up out of the depths of my fingers' memory, i wouldn't mind going over it again and having another go.  I feel like I've had time to learn a lot about what kinds of things I can do well, and which things I can't do as well.  I will always still flirt with the boundary of what I don't do well, so that I can learn more, but a song like this could definitely benefit from another shot.

Thanks for your comments.  I always appreciate the honest critic
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