#1October 23rd, 2007 · 04:01 PM
129 threads / 33 songs
1,412 posts
United States of America
For Lisa [old]
*

This song is not in a battle


My dear friend Lisa was my inspiration for writing this song, and she gets 100% credit for the lyrics in the second verse and the bridge.  I was stuck on them and she just started pitching ideas, and it worked perfectly for what I was going after.  I began this song about a week and half ago.  It just came together like magic... it was amazing.  Once I started recording started today, a ton of ideas for how to improve it came to mind, and so I tried include as many of these unplanned ideas as I could on the spot, I can't garantee the quality of execution of said ideas

Lyrically, this is a shorter composition than the rest of my songs, but it also is played a bit slower   Actually, this song is the 2nd longest of my recordings so far ([The End of Tribulation(2)] being the longest, weighing in at 8:00).  I hope you like it!  I'm pretty happy with the way this one is turning out.

For Lisa (Happy Endings or Bust)

So we're here now with the ones you love
My body's worn out,
and the trip was crazy
We'll have to sit down and talk about it
It's hard to explain, you know
I wish you could have been there

The hard part now is knowing what you'll need for when they ask you,
"How are you?  Because you look like somebody is missing you..."
And the hardest things to say might be something like,
where you could be one year from today

They catch us singing the songs from yesterday;
the ones from long lost friends,
and ones that we've left behind
Breathe in deep--
We've got no regrets,
but your voice with mine,
it's just sent chills down this spine

The hard part now is knowing what you'll need for when they ask you,
"How are you?  Because you look like somebody is missing you..."
And the hardest things to say might be something like,
where you could be one year from today

A little lost, a little lonely,
we've got to stay strong
Hold out until we're found again

The hard part now is knowing what you'll need for when they ask you,
"How are you?  Because you look like somebody is missing you..."
And the hardest things to say might be something like,
where you could be one year from today

Does this song not follow the Rules? Please Report Abuse
#2October 23rd, 2007 · 04:36 PM
4 threads / 4 songs
145 posts
United States of America
Wow, i really like this song. That said, it has a things holding it back, some pitch issues, i shouldn't talk really, i'm an atrocious singer... but that's about it other than a tiny bit of rythm phasing in and out
#3October 23rd, 2007 · 07:44 PM
157 threads / 11 songs
2,294 posts
United Kingdom
re: (Project Title) For Lisa
as i hear it
start guitar..............down in mix...then
vox clear
sounds like 2 mike set up
floppy plectrum  ..... song ......a bit disjointed
dynamics good.................choice of chords not so hot
overdub yell/////!!!!
cant get into this ramble......................
confused...

who are 'we'
i am not u

good experiment

the fish ............ ivote 4*
#4October 23rd, 2007 · 08:39 PM
129 threads / 33 songs
1,412 posts
United States of America
re: re: (Project Title) For Lisa
thanks TekMasterLuke and swordfish for the replies.

swordfish wrote…
cant get into this ramble......................
confused...

heh.  okay   I can take that.  question though... I'm confused about what you mean when you say a floppy plectrum ..... song  .. that's just a confusing phrase to process.  I'm used to a "plectrum" as a noun, not an adjective...

I can understand the "a bit disjointed" part of your comment, though, which is fair enough for you to say.  Let it be heard though that I donnot intend to write music that molds to the audience-- I write for those who want to mold themselves for a time into someone who can like what I'm trying to say.  The funny changes in key and rhythm (particularly for that bridge transition) are rather intentional, though.  This song represents a lot more than just a kid behind a microphone    It parallels life itself, which isn't always so pretty and can come off rather "disjointed" itself!!  As for the things pertaining to this part of your comment, I'm goin to have to just say that my decisions to record the song this way were intentional. .... (  I think too many people are too conditioned by pop radio and they become ... "convaincu" .. dang... converted/ convinced that all music is designed to function the way that pop radio does   Sorry, guys, but I'm not out to do something that's already been done by every artist that hits the radiowaves.  I'm not fitting their mold!  )

even having said all of that though, I can agree about the overdub thingy on that 2nd and 3rd chorus (and I agree quite frankly, I might add).  In fact, before I read this post, I was cutting it out, up until the last "how are you" part of the line.  As far as this is concerned-- it's cut I was trying to put something into this song that didn't really work out very well.  when I record this again, I'll see if I can't a) do a better job on that part, or b) just remove it altogether.

I tend to record with the headphones on all the time, and this song definitely sounds nicer in the headphones I've got than out of a pair of desktop speakers 

thanks for the consolation prize at the end of your post, there, fish

"we" has nothing to do with you, {if / as consequence to the fact that you already} want nothing to do it it, the the song   .  You might be more aware of the who "we" are if you were to reread my initial post.

thanks guys!
#5October 23rd, 2007 · 09:42 PM
157 threads / 11 songs
2,294 posts
United Kingdom
re: re: re: (Project Title) For Lisa
WOW............now that's what i call a responce.........
its a song.....................
It takes me three weeks 2 type that much.........haha ...........off 2 bed now
splash and
'a little love in my soul'
its a cool song
cya

kersploosh

the fish
#6October 23rd, 2007 · 09:49 PM
129 threads / 33 songs
1,412 posts
United States of America
no, no.. you misunderstand me.  I'm not ranting in a huff that you don't like my song.  I was replying to your comments.  If I expect you to reply to my song, I think I have the right to reply to your comments, no?
#7October 23rd, 2007 · 09:56 PM
157 threads / 11 songs
2,294 posts
United Kingdom
lol
       

cya
#8October 24th, 2007 · 09:03 AM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,358 posts
United Kingdom
Your enthusiasm always comes through in your music.

I know you have put your heart and soul in this.

I don't agree with TekMaster Luke in that your holding back, if anthing your trying too hard..

The parts I like best is where your playing and sininging softer, there is more emotion and it's
very nice on the ear.

I'm no expert in lyrics, but a very nice touch for your friend Lisa.

Keep up the songwriting!!!

Will Rate

Denis
#9October 25th, 2007 · 08:58 AM
90 threads / 73 songs
263 posts
United Kingdom
Vocals are great - like always

Another one to download .

I can't make my mind up whether your a bit out of key in places though (vocals)..

Hmmm.

Yeah I think in a few places, the harmonies aren't perfect.. Hang on is that your own voice twice?

Because if it is than that's probably it, becuase when I try to do harmonies with my own voice twice, then I tend to end up scrapping it because I really don't like the sound .

Nevertheless, it's a good song, and very good job ..
#10October 26th, 2007 · 02:28 PM
5 threads / 5 songs
327 posts
United Kingdom
i agree
too much molding for artists these days.. lets be different.. i like different.. like your style actualy.good vocals... well done..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
#11October 27th, 2007 · 06:11 PM
129 threads / 33 songs
1,412 posts
United States of America
Petermoncrieff wrote…
Hang on is that your own voice twice? ... when I try to do harmonies with my own voice twice, then I tend to end up scrapping it because I really don't like the sound

yes, i know what you mean.  I used to be really really bad at it, but i feel that it's getting better.  I find that two different peoples' voices are the best for harmonies, but when I'm a one-man team, I work with what I've got.  The only help i've ever been able to enlist was for one of the "oh" parts in [Actually 2.0] that has a female voice over it.  It's a little bit into the 2nd verse, at... 1:05.  Except for that, I've been on my own, so I've been trying to find ways to make it work.

I appreciate the comments-- I'm sure you all know how it goes:  as the artist, there are things that you don't think are wrong with the song, but once 2nd and 3rd opinions come around, you get to see the song with your real eyes, versus your author's eyes   It's good for me to hear these things.

thank you, paganscradle!  encouragement is good

TLS
#12October 30th, 2007 · 10:46 AM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
Hmmm.... floppy plectrum song! lol
I see what the fish man means, just perhaps a little harsh in his delivery.  The sound is basically good overall, but the guitar is just a little spoiled because the plectrum can be heard during the strumming - listen to Denis' guitar playing... it's clear and clean without the clickyness that you have here.
There's also a bit of vocal "wobble" going on there, where you almost but don't quite hit the notes... in some songs that would really spoil the whole thing, but I think the relaxed feeling of this song overall allows you to get away with the minor (and they really are minor) delivery issues.

Overall, I enjoyed listening - it's a decent bit of music that's competently played and sung.  This would go down well in a live acoustic club I'm sure.

#13November 6th, 2007 · 02:38 PM
129 threads / 33 songs
1,412 posts
United States of America
yes,the vocal needs to be done over again, due to that very "wobble" you've menitoned.  i'd like to do it soon, but we'll see-- time is everything :P

I wanted to post again to give a link to a slightly tweaked version of the song that I've posted through ReverbNation.com .  you can go to my profile and listen to it if you'd like.  http://www.reverbnation.com/tonightslastsong .  Enjoy.  I took out part of the overlay on the 2nd and 3rd choruses, and I removed part of the mid-section's "oh" stuff.  I'll have to tweak the dynamics a little at some point too.  I wish I could update the song here on Bandamp without making an entire new post.  I'd hate to just delete this thread to post the new one.

anyway, ReverbNation will probably have more updated versions of each the songs I post here on Bandamp, since I can re-upload them any time I want over there.  There's a slightly slightly tweaked version of [Actually] on there as well.  Have fun, kiddies.

TLS
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