ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk basicly i was bored and was wching stupid videos of bands that all sound alike and all talk about the same thing, and all look alike and i got bored. so this is the result of being left alone in the house for an hour and MTV worthy video's.

THIS IS NOT THE FINISHED VERSION! im already makeing a second version (vox wise)
and i want more insterments, and seeing how my i lack any musical tallent, im asking to colab with as many people as you want to make this happen. i used FLS and made the VERRRYYYYYYY simple drum beat since thats all im capable of sadly.

the lyrics ARE VERY rough this i know, this was a one take thing, i literitly improved the entire thing, no sitting down and thinking up word. i just did it off the top of meh head and i got crap X.X lol

Like I said before!
I love it!!!
Just maybe a dif drum beat and speed it up!
will rate

also not the best recording quality... cheep 15 dollar mic and audacity... yeah.. lol

Very raw, and earthy... which is good for this style... Very difficult to pull off a good vocal flow withthis slow and dredging beat..  So for that you get major kudos... The harsh criticism I have is the actual recording quality, and I must say I would like to hear this sped up to like 100BPM with some serious crunchy dirty guitar in it...

     

  JimK

lmao im trying i am i am i amm

me too !!   give me the old days back when guys could play and write and sing !!  and it wasn't all about looks and videos!!  

This is very cool  kinda reminds me of the coffee bar  duet that played in around the Lawrence KS area (KU college town)  Just female vox and bongos player and African drums..  kinda of a musical poetry.

 nicely done  love the lyrics
greg

This is pretty cool - however extraordinary minimal this is, it keeps one listening. This is definately a great promise toward a finished version. Hell - - - - this - this very version - could be the soundtrack to a short film wow that will be a great piece of art. Good job doll, love your voice!

Just as I was thinking, Pup!  Even though criticisms could be leveled about the timing and performance issues, I must say this had an arresting quality for me. The off-beat drumming, the sultry vocal, the lyric content all somehow "come together" to provide a sort of "dark" psychological consistency. I was also thinking the could be a theme for a scene from a movie (maybe a Scorsese film). This evokes a "conceptual art" quality for me....

lmao i luv u guys thanks for the comments

wow.., love the voice!!! love the way you free jammed!!!

but,
can u do this on a straight 4/4 beat, or even metronome would be fine.., cause everything i try to play on it seems to fit the vox, but nothing fits the drums

great job anyway!

beautiful!
nice to hear very calm
you are doing a new version? try sine wave anyhow

You dont need a drum!!!!!!!
the drum doesnt recognise you!!!!
It gets in the way???
try launching this without the drum................might sound great!!!
just the voice ..........which is very cool..........
or ambient sounds to support????

the fish

Im gonna join with fish on the idea of an ambient sound running throughout....possibly building throughout the song while adding guitars and then the drum beat maybe.  I have visions of this video my friend sent to me on youtube athttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B00qU5uc58, and seeing this song being developed down a similar alleyway.  Definatley a cool idea, and something different.  I'd love to see where you take this. 

Kobeshi

Minimalistic yes, but absolutely fantastic.This is what you here when you go to the experimental open mic in the lower east side in New York city.ahhh brings memories.!!!
Very cool Pap.Your voice has a deep powerful sound use it!!!!

Very cool!
I'm in awe that it's a 'cheep mic', the recording quality is very good.
I could go for a version without the drum, only vocals, maybe some ambient sounds going around?? I could go for a version with a guitar, but not in a rhythm, but plinked, planked, twanged and twonged in a random and 'bored with it' way just like the drum.
Otherwise this version is simply superb !!!
I'd definitely like to hear you make a more 'concious' random vocal , I think the chorus is real good and could be used more, and maybe I'd like to hear some random crash symbols, even though they might take it to a different level.
I'd love to hear the chorus more often too, it's excellent.

Actually it's a perfect song, what you're saying couldn't really be put any other way!